I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I was recently divorced after 27 years and my husband worked out of town for 19 of those. He had a year long affair. I was very naive and let him leave me with very little and now I’m suffering for it. My divorce is still very raw so I don’t have tons of advice, and it doesn’t help that we’re staying on the same property for the next 9 months unless I miraculously find a good job so I can move. I understand your pain and sure hope things get better for you. It took me almost a year to even be able to talk to my friends because I was so ashamed of what I was going through. Reach out to at least one person you trust and just open up to them. That’s one thing that helped me. Good luck!

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It saddens me that you are being treated that way. I believe you, too, should protect yourself. I have been married for almost 29 years, and my situation is quite different. Still, the lack of respect for you from him is very apparent, leading me to believe that he can't be trusted, and therefore you must take the proper precautions and protect yourself.
I would also get yourself a counselor if you don't have a good support system in place. There are options to help with the anxiety so you can begin to function normally. Maybe make an appointment with your primary care provider and let them know what's going on. You can get medication to help with the situational anxiety or get something to help you long-term. I tell you all of that because I am dealing with the same things and have lost ~20lbs in the past month. My thoughts are with you.