I bring this up with a lawyer. I had an old friend who did divorce (male) and his wife was awarded primary custody. She had an alcohol problem tried to tell the court that. Court didn't listen. Eventually had one too many benders and he was called. He took her to court and basically filed some motion to force her to go into rehab and complete a state madidate course work/support work to show she is clean and working the steps. and until that time he had sole custody. She never was able to complete it.
So I know there are things you can do. And I wouldn't be talking to him about custody with out a lawyer input. You want to protect the kids from his abuse.
Hello Heidi. My divorce was final earlier this year. My ex is an alcoholic too - and we were married for 27 years. I suggest talking about custody and property settlement only with an attorney. You have rights and a lawyer can offer a fresh perspective. Also - I wanted to share that Alanon really helped me reclaim my life and sanity. It's a support group for family and friends of alcoholics.
Thank you all for the support I appreciate it. I have a lawyer I have just seen some horror stories on here where a mom lost her kids because of lies and that scares the crap out of me. My boys are my world and while I am sure him and his dad will lie about me I am also sure there are others that will speak the truth I am just all in my head all the time contemplating back and forth about it. Because he is a binge drinker he can go periods without drinking and when he does he is not a horrible dad but he also is a lazy dad. I guess I was hoping to hear some stories from people who were successful in getting this done without major issues down the road.
I’m so glad I found this site. I am in the same situation. I am contemplating divorce vs separation at this time. My husband is getting out of hand and put my 21 month old in harms way. I cannot continue on. Do you have an email I can reach out?