Do you have a divorce attorney? If not, I would meet with one before you do anything. I worked with an attorney for a few months before I filed for divorce and I didn't tell my husband until after we had filed. I didn't trust how he would react.
She had me remove my personal valuables from the house, make copies of all financial records, made a new will for me, etc.
She advised me on how to stay safe when I told him I filed.
Make sure you are protecting yourself legally and financially.
I was also hesitant for many years because I was scared of how I would manage financially. But I am receiving alimony and am being careful with my money and I am doing fine.
I know how you feel! I am just starting myself and I feel totally alone and lost. I have an attorney, but it took me a few months after I signed on with her to get down to business. She was really responsive before and now that I'm actually needing her help, she's not. She told me she'd have my back, but it doesn't seem like she does. My sister, who is my best friend, always pulls away when loved ones have problems, so she's doing that now. I feel totally alone and abandoned right now. I'm trying to do my financial declaration and it's overwhelming and seems impossible.
I can't offer any advice at this point I guess, but just know there are other women out there going through similar fear and pain. I hope things get better for you.