I’m not sure how old you both are, but I’m wondering if he’s perhaps going through a midlife crisis? Given how he says he stopped loving you and feels nothing for you-is a classic sign that either he may be seeing another woman, or has someone lined up/or he wants to start going on dating apps. I really don’t think you’ve been living a lie. All sorts of ****e sprouts from the mouths of men about to leave their spouse. They try to make you feel awful and to second-guess yourself and almost everything you believed in about your recent years of marriage. Don’t fall for it! It’ll just be him trying to justify leaving you. Please don’t beat yourself up emotionally.
Look up the word ‘co-dependent.’ I’m wondering when you write “I centred my life around him” whether that’s what’s happening to you. YouTube has videos on it you can watch.
The best thing you can do is to arm yourself with information. Gather as much evidence of his finances as you can while he’s still living in the house with you. Down the line, this may be hard to come by, so start collating the details of bank accounts, savings, shares, pension funds, life insurance, vehicle values and property values, as you’ll need this information to get a fair settlement, if things turn towards a divorce. You may be in denial right now, but your future self will look back and thank you for empowering yourself by having this information to-hand for the court.
Another thing men may do to justify their ****ty action of leaving, is to just drop enough bombshells and cruel accusations, that you can start to self-doubt. Am I too old/not interesting enough/not sporty enough/too fat etc etc etc. But be LOUD AND PROUD of you and who you are! Don’t let his unhappiness about himself be turned on you.
Right now, your in shock. To take you to dinner and then throw you under a bus (metaphorically-speaking) straight afterwards was insensitive and cruel of him. If he wants to talk about dividing up the business, so soon after telling you he doesn’t love you anymore, he must be pretty serious about splitting up with you. Why so fast??? I’m suspicious. Please see a lawyer before speaking to your husband. Your emotions are high right now and he may try to take advantage of your vulnerability by not giving you a fair deal. As I once read: Marriage is about love. Divorce is about finances. It’s so true. Your relationship dynamic has now changed. It’s about trying to protect yourself emotionally and financially so you aren’t left a shivering shadow of your former self by the end of the divorce process, but instead, you are an empowered, informed woman who’s not going to take his bull**** lying down 🌻