My husband of 9 years wants a divorce after a particularly difficult time during lockdown alongside home renovation. I acknowledge that we have had many issues over the years, but have always hoped we would work things out, so it is quite an emotionally painful time.
We were in the process of renewing our mortgage fix rate for another five years. His name is on the land registry but the value to loan being offered is based solely on my earnings.
As we are still in the midst of renovation, his solution is for me to move out while he finishes things and then we place the house on the open market. I, however, do not wish to leave my home and am currently in the process of getting financial advice to see if it is feasible for me to keep on longer term myself. I would of course be offering him a financial settlement to put the property solely into my name but he is adamant that I will not be living in our 'dream home.' I have been warned by my friends that I may be being too stubborn here by insisting that I stay in our home, but I have put all of my time and effort into building this, have a really good network of friends surrounding me and have covered most of the mortgage payments along with the majority of the renovation financially.
Before I go down the route of additional getting lawyers to draft an agreement, I just wanted to speak with others who have potentially experienced something similar to see what pitfalls you would advise me to avoid? This is all new territory to me and I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff right now, looking down. 😢
Call me cynical, but if he’s the one who has potentially carried out most of the renovation work to-date, and he’s referring to the property as a ‘dream home,’ I’d be wondering to myself whether he might intentionally take years and years to finish off the renovations so he can continue to live in it for ages longer after you’d have moved out!
Get the house valued ‘as-is.’ You might be able to find a buyer who enjoys renovating a ‘fixer-upper,’ in which case it could be sold sooner rather than later.
Also, get a quote from a builder for the price to finish off basic renovations. See a lawyer and ascertain whether, through mediation/negotiation, he would be willing to deduct the total cost of the renovations to finish the place off, at 50% cost to each of you, from your individual divorce settlement amounts. You’d have to both find a way to stump up the Reno money upfront to pay the builder taking this route however.
I’d be seeing a lawyer ASAP. I wouldn’t be moving anyplace until I’d found out what my rights are. You need a timeframe to be set, in writing, as well as how the asset pool in general, will be divided, plus who is responsible for paying any debts owed.