I don’t think you will ever just forget, but it does become easier. I was told by my counselor that sometimes we focus on the good times as a defense mechanism and therefore we tend to forget or block out the bad times. I found that out by going through my journal where I found that I really wasn’t happy even though I still think of him daily. Sometimes it’s just hard to move on.

Hi, Your mind has been incorporating him into your life for decades-so it’s bound to take a while to get used to him being absent from your life. Certain flashbacks can be triggered by sights and sounds, quiet moments may mean your mind wanders into becoming conscious of how silent it can get sometimes-particularly if you return home to an empty house if you lived with him for years.

What you’re experiencing is normal and natural. It’s all part of the grieving and letting go process. It shows you are a caring, conscientious person.

But...the fact you made a conscious choice to leave him, means there was at least one, if not many, elements of the relationship that did not suit your needs and you weren’t enjoying the relationship with him. Try to remind yourself of those aspects when you feel you’re slipping back into daydreaming of past experiences with him, or when you’re in ‘what if...? mode 🌸