How do you feel? Are you happy in your marriage? What do you want? You have the power to make your choices.
He's making his choices and you can make yours. Are you thinking about marriage counseling to help the relationship improve? Would you want a divorce? Are you satisfied with the current situation?
Hi Kelly
Thank you for replying
Sometime I do think about divorcing him because I will be more in peace because sometimes he can be very controlling and manipulative (that the reason my Grown Kids does get along with him) I sometimes cannot express things that needs to be done in general without getting into an argument (he always wants to win or have the last word) I got tired of the same arguments over and over ....and when I go out shopping I will not have to rush home without him calling me after 1 hour or so and asking if I am done shopping 🛍
He does not think that we need counseling 🤷🏻♀️Why?
He thinks that he is always right not matter the circumstances or how it will turned out (which is sometimes wrong)
The only thing that is stoping me from leaving is I will be Sorry for him because his healthy is not that well even though at the present time he can handle by himself but later as he age he absolutely will have no one to take care of him if he becomes ill
He can be difficult sometimes
your description sounds a lot like my ex-husband. My ex- did finally agree to go to marriage counseling, but our counselor recommended that he come for individual session to work on issues and he refused. It could be "our" problem, but nothing was just "his" problem - but it was.
I started going on my own and that helped me immensely. I learned how to set boundaries, stick to them, respond more neutrally to him. My therapist helped me realize that his problems were his, his choices were his - that all I could really control were my choices.
this process helped me emotionally separate myself from him when he was yelling, trying to fight over nothing, etc.
Also, I was confident that by the time I did file for divorce I had given him every chance to work on issues, and had clearly communicated to him for a long time how unhappy I was in the marriage.
His health is not your problem, plus you could still be there for him if you wanted to even after the divorce. My ex- and I get along fairly well now and we do help each other out when needed.
There are consequences to our actions and choices. If his choices have led you to divorce, then his consequence would be being alone. Don't feel guilty for that, you have every right to take care of yourself!
You might find going to a therapist on your own helpful.