Thank you Kaz for your outlook
I could not stay in this marriage anymore as much as it hurts me
If I decide to send a get well wish card or flowers etc... he will think that I want him back Right ? And he will push me to go back to him now that he is sick
he texted me during our divorce (he had broke his finger and he knew I did not care ) so I could be sorry for him
Why he would text me this message if he knew I did not care ??
I think it would b a long slippery slope to misery if you contemplated this, , I echo everything Kaz says , not only that do you think he would do the same for you if it was the other way around ,
I think you know the answer
Sorta but not quiet in your position at one point and time.
I was looking for apartments, had a different bank account, had a post office box, talked to 2 lawyers, ect...
Getting ready to divorce him.
Then he had a stroke. He got lucky a big clot broke apart and hit 6 areas of his brain and his vision was mildly impacted.
I stayed with him out of "love" or not wanting to leave him when he was the most vulnerable. And honestly, I wish I would of left. It would have been easier then just because of the circumstances of secrets being discovered by me. The divorce would have fallen squarely on his shoulders in plain site for him to see and no where to run.
Now I am struggling to get out of this marriage emotionally just because before emotionally it was easier because he would not have been blind sided. he knew I could easily leave. Now it is harder because he always rewrites his stories to suit his narrative after times has passed. And for some reason my brain tries to justify not going because "I will hurt him and will fell guilty for inflicting the pain" or "this doesn't rise to the level of divorce not like last time"
Anyway long story short, no I would not. For a couple of reasons. One the old emotional triggers will be there for him to "entrap" you. two you will be more entrapped because now the nurturing and caring person will feel a greater sense of responsibility towards him. 3 how will you exit? On his death? When will that be? If not on his death will he fane being sick just not to be alone anymore?
All sorts of stuff but I would not make the same mistake I made before.
Once gone let yourself be gone. He needs help let the kids and him work it out.
Don't let the kids or him suck you back in. Meaning the kids might be hoping you take care of him so they don't have to deal with the guilt of saying no. Him so he still has you but no it is even better he can do what he wants and when he wants knowing in a pinch you will be there to help him.
Hi Angela
Thank you for your opinion
Not even my 2 adults Kids want nothing to do with their Father Even though he is sick
They are telling me will be a big mistake to take care of him
If I decide to take care of him my Kids already told me that I will be out of their Life
They know I deserve better and I will not be controlled by him and disrespectful