I’ve been separated from my husband for nine years. After years of hoping somehow miraculously we may get back together, I’m finally starting to realize that it’s time to move on. We have two daughters together. The only thing I’m concerned about is if we move forward with a divorce that he’s going to get the children because I live at home with my mother, and he and his girlfriend of 4 years own their on home. Which I don’t understand because I was working with a home program that was helping me with homeowner ship back in 2014 but they stated I had to provide proof of legal separation papers or divorce papers. Everytime I talk to my ex about divorce we will entertain the topic then months and years go by and no one wants to proceed. I feel like I’m the one getting the short end of the stick because I feel like I’m at a stand still in life while he’s out living his. I’m venting and I need advice. Please help!
You are at a standstill because you are waiting on someone else to make the decision for you. Stop doing that, you need to file for divorce. It's that simple. You don't need to wait on your ex to agree with you or help you make this decision. (I sound harsh & I don't mean to be. However, it sounds like you need a wake up call. 9 yrs is a long time to be waiting around when the power is in your control.)
As far as custody goes, (I'm not sure what state you are in or how the laws are there) as long as you have a stable home & a bedroom for your children it would be difficult for your ex to get sole custody (if that is what you are worried about).
Don't wait any more, the decision is yours to stay stuck in the standstill or move to the passing lane and get your life moving forward.
Best of luck
9 YEARS of separation. He doesn't want to get a divorce because he's a jackASS. This is where you need to get yourself together. Work build your credit. Get the documents needed for a separation. Go thru the process. Pray. Meditate. Drink your water. Get your rest and GROW. You still have children. Someone is looking at you. On top of that his girlfriend and him have a house?