Hi Sheryl, I really feel for you and your daughter. You’ve both been horribly betrayed by someone you loved and trusted deeply. I too, am SO proud of you for protecting your daughter through all that. Your maternal instinct was spot-on 🙏
The empty void that has been left will be confusing for your mind. Who on Earth could have predicted his behaviours? So, now your subconscious is no doubt trying to make sense of this non-sensical situation. He’s a grown man who chose to take an inappropriate video of his step-daughter. No one made him do it. No one pressed the ‘record’ button or placed the phone on the chair but him. He has to face the consequences therefore.
Hopefully, once the divorce is finalised you’ll begin the healing process. I the meantime, focus on taking care of your health. Eat nutritionally, exercise, do yoga, meditate, try tai-chi, read, take part in social events, meet with friends etc. Activities can help distract the negative thoughts. I really would encourage you (and your daughter) to see a counsellor. A qualified trauma counsellor. Sometimes it’s not comfortable to talk to friends and family about a shocking experience you’ve been through, and having someone to share your thoughts and feelings with in confidence, can lift some of the burden. You may be grieving the loss of the future and future plans you’d made/assumed with him. This is also a completely normal trauma and grief response. The trick is to start creating new memories, new future plans, new ways of seeing and doing. It’s one heck of a betrayal you’ve been dragged through, so please talk with a qualified mental well-being practitioner (and thank Goodness your daughter found that bloody phone…)