Re: Husband started his own business regardless of how I felt
Hi, Maybe try to sit down with him and set a timeframe eg if the business doesn’t Stewart turning a profit by the 18 month mark, he will start applying for paid employment, or, working as a casual contractor for another business in tandem with still pushing his own business forward, so at least he has some income stream.
It can be difficult to get a new business up and running to the point of making a profit. Are there any assets you could both agree to sell? Could he get a cheaper truck to reduce payments? Does he need the tractor for his business?
If he won’t compromise, but still expects you to fund his lifestyle choice, then a really serious, but calm, discussion is needed. It’s about finding a balance that you’re both ok with. It sounds as if you’d have never agreed to him quitting his paid job and trying self-employment, which is why I suspect he didn’t involve you, or ask your opinion about leaving his paid job. Is he intimidated by you and the financial pressure, so he flipped out and thought ‘to hell with it all, I’m just going to try it!’ Or, is he a bully who doesn’t care about your feelings and has always done what he feels like doing, without caring about potential consequences for your relationship?
If you stand to lose your home, your savings, your marriage-then obviously something needs to change. How long does he project it’ll take until his business starts being financially successful? Is that a sustainable amount of time? Would he benefit from seeking business coaching and marketing guidance? How much are you both spending on trying to ‘maintain a lifestyle?’ Is there potential for his business to make good money in the future?
Ultimately…if you’re feeling disrespected and unhappy in the relationship, you need to talk. If you take money out of the equation-how is everything else in your marriage? Do you generally get along when you’re not worried about money? Do you hug? Do you trust each other’s decisions? Do you love each other? Do you enjoy each other’s companionship? Is he supportive of you?