Hi Dawn
Same here
I filed for divorce after 33 years of marriage at my age 59yrs old and within 4 months or so after I filed he already found someone to mingle
I even do not know if he knew this person during my marriage or he just met her (no idea) but the way I saw them talking to each other on my ring video it seems they have met before never imagined that he already moved on so fast with his life
NO RESPECT
Still hurt me to this way (has been one year that I divorced him ) but is better to be by yourself instead of putting up with an controlling, narcissist , abusive and no empathy etc…person
It will take time but you will go through remember to take care of yourself and distract yourself so you do not have to think about that imbecile
Stay strong 🙏
Plus WHY? Would you stay with someone like this? That is the why I moved on …thinking WHY? I would stay with this person with all this bad qualities but unfortunately there are times that i will feel sad , upset, hurt ,betrayed , how could he do such thing
That’s life but you can do it 🤞life is not fair sometimes
God watches everything 🤗

Hi Bertha,
I am physically sick about it
I asked myself why too.
He was awful to me many years and I stayed.
I know in my head it is better to be gone, but the heart still aches

I think it helps to acknowledge that you’re the ‘victim’ in this situation. He is a grown adult who is responsible for his choices and behaviours and, if he is a narcissist and/or having a midlife crisis, it’s unfortunately, not uncommon for the ex husband to catapult himself into the orbit of a new woman very, very quickly.

Of course I don’t know him, but some of the traits you mention in your post strongly indicate a narcissistic (and maybe even a high-functional level of autism-such as Aspergers) personality - especially the ‘lacking in empathy.’

Honestly, as hard as it is, the best, most productive and kind approach towards self-healing is to try to move on from him mentally and I know that’s far easier said than done…But believe me, people with such personalities are just not worth dragging yourself down for, losing sleepless nights over, crying buckets over or torturing yourself mentally over and tying yourself in emotional knots. I know. I’ve been there myself. That said, it is vitally important to go through your own grieving journey. It’s actually part of the healing process. It’s natural to be heart-broken, angry, to grieve etc. Take a look at Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ theory of grieving as it can help visually see how the grieving process often ‘plays out.’

Be kind to yourself. Yoga, journaling, sage your house, listen to positive music, socialise with close friends when you feel up to it. Don’t let him destroy the values and loveable person you are! This is more about him and his ****ty actions and behaviours than anything you have ‘done wrong.’ He may not even feel guilty if he lacks an empathetic bone in his body, so why should you suffer while he’s having a great time?! As I once read (and it seems quite harsh advice, but spurred me into being more determined to take control back over my life, my emotions and my destiny) “put your big girl panties and red lipstick on. Hold your head high and remind yourself daily that you are ******* awesome and he is one hell of an idiot for losing you!” Take care of your appearance, nourish your soul, say positive affirmations to yourself daily. When he next sees you, make the SOB regret leaving you! Look amazing. Look confident (even if you don’t particularly feel it!) and give him a dose of his own meanness back by showing you don’t need him to be able to thrive and be successful in your life. Success is the best revenge of all.

Maybe speak with a therapist also. No point in suffering and struggling alone. Your doctor may be willing to prescribe sleeping pills/Valium etc to get you over the hurdle of particularly sad days. Keep busy. Keep pushing forward with life-One day at a time. Life has changed and your mind is trying to make sense of it all. The certainty of life has been rocked. Sometimes, psychologically, we prefer for our established routine and familiar relationship not to be changed-even if that’s a toxic situation for us. Change and loss can be scary and upsetting, but your emotions are also your brain’s way of letting you know that it’s working on coming to terms with that change and loss. Yes, you’ve ‘lost’ your long-term partner, but you’ve also gained freedom to explore new possibilities. The trick is to learn how to embrace this as being ok. That takes time, so don’t worry about rushing things. Your emotions are natural and normal. You’ve been betrayed by a self-centred man. But you’ve also benefitted indirectly by no longer having to put up with his lack of empathy, abuse and meanness, so there are some ‘glass half full’ glimmers of positivity.

Her? Well, I suspect his ego will get bored with her at some point. She’ll probably get to see ‘the real ‘him’ in the future and if she’s got half an ounce of sense, she’ll be the one to leave Him!

Hugs and hope hun 🌸