Hi, I’m sorry to hear about your situation.
Realistically, it looks as if you may be forced into a situation of having to sell your current home. I’m not a lawyer or a financial adviser, but I wonder if you could potentially rent out part of your house/rooms? If your ex would accept a monthly payment from you instead of a lump sum, that might help you stay in your home? I think though, unfortunately, it’s more likely you’ll have to sell.

Don’t forget to try to claim spousal maintenance from him if you can. Even if that means getting your hands on some portion of his pension. HE left you and you had (I assume), jointly made decisions that you have relied upon when planning your financial future-such as taking out an equity release agreement, that were based on planning to remain married.

‘Her’ trust situation is not your problem. I wouldn’t give two hoots about his future-He’s certainly not worried about yours: What with leaving you for your ‘so-called friend’ (wolf in sheep’s clothing) and threatening to take you to court.

What happened to the money you took out against your home? Who has that? Or has it all been spent? Get a second opinion from a different solicitor about your situation. Also, your house is not the only joint asset you probably have: What about cars, jewellery, antiques, shares, savings, business interests, pensions, any payouts, any inheritances etc etc. What is his future earning potential compared to yours? If he becomes her de facto spouse, he might be entitled to a share of her assets (those that are not in a trust fund), if he’s polite from her over time. That means he might stand to gain from her financially?

Are there any women’s advocacy groups you could call to ask their opinion on your situation (free of charge)? The USA has (from memory), something called the Homestedder clause (or similar?). Which basically says, your home can’t be sold from under you. If there’s a high probability that you might become homeless at almost 70 if you’re forced to sell your current home, I’d also be certain to remind the court of that fact.

Instead of getting worried, or thinking about him-get busy! Telephone a women’s advocacy group. Ask Age Concern etc if they offer free legal advice. Can you have the land registry (titles office) record that the property cannot be sold from under you?