That's part of the problem. He knows he has me where he wants me because the only way he will sign the house over to me with no money exchanged is if I waive alimony and his pension.
Rent would be twice as much as my mortgage. Also took a look at a bank statement we are both on but only he uses and saw that the day after he asked me for a divorce he transferred 10k out of that account.its all his money as we keep our money separate but he is obvioisly trying to hide it. I supported him for so many years and now that he is making good money and we are comfortable, he wants out. I will go back to struggling like I did in my 20's.
It just sucks. I know its for the best as he really is a liar and I'm sure he has cheated way more then I know about. Scares the scrap out of me to be alone at 51.
I totally hear where you are coming from , I am 58 , it will be tough to get a mortgage , i so wish I had not sold my flat , don’t know where you are, I am in the uk and rent is astronomical , I would soon get through the equity of the house, it was either have all of the equity and maybe fight for some of his pension, but I know he would probably play dirty and I didn’t want it dragging out any longer, or go for half the house , half his pension, which he had over 100k , and spousal support , I was told I would get between 300 to 500 a month for five yrs, but I thought about it , if he ever lost his job , he could get away with paying me nothing or had a lower paid job , he could lesson the amount, or he could just sod off abroad, which to be honest I would not put it past him In which case I would be royally screwed.
It has taken a yr to get to this point and the divorce is almost though , but it’s a yr off of mortgage terms. So I could not let it drag on for too long, for my sanity I want him out of my life and as far away from me as possible, it might be a case of dare I say it , you get as good as a solicitor / lawyer as you can , but also you might have to and I hate to say it cut your losses a bit, over here the longer it drags out , the richer the solicitor gets, the divorce bill will cut into anything you might get, I have made him pay for the divorce, don’t see why I should , it’s not my fault , he has paid some of it, if he reneges on the rest I will take him to small claims court , and he won’t get a mortgage then .
Just keep everything close to your chest , don’t let him know anything , if you get the house , iand no Alimony could you at least rent a bedroom out for some income for you ?
Xxx
That is my main goal right now, to get the house. I can pay it but there won't be any extra. Rent here is also very expensive and at least twice as much as the current mortgage. The house is really all I care about. I would be willing to waive alimony and pension if he just signs the house over without having to give him money. If I don't get the house then all bets are off. Thank you for the reply. It really does help to hear from women going thru a similar situation.
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