Your words resonate inside me. I am struggling so much as feel when he left he didn't just take himself away....he took my whole identity. 20 years of being best friend, wife, lover. I desperately miss him and feel I just wasn't good enough. I find it so difficult to go anywhere now. Who am I if not the wife, what have I to offer, what on earth can I possibly talk about beyond the pain? I have let this consume me. Just wonder where to find the confidence to let the pain go a little, to push myself into new situations where I can try to live my life again? I know the only one suffering is me and I so want to put a stop to it. Feel like the only one in a sea of happy couples..... Oh yeah, self pity appears to have become my unwanted friend!
Wow I totally understand you. I’m so sad. I’m heart broken. I am the one that’s leaving but it’s because he has broke my heart so many times. Everyday in this marriage I am so hurt I feel like I’m dying inside. I pour out my feelings to him and he pretty much ignores me and just insults me. I’m devastated at the person that he’s become. I thought he was my knight in shining armor but he’s wrecked my life. I have nothing without him. I have no family or friends. Only married for a little over a year but I had a rough childhood and no real family that cares for me and loves me so he was my everything. I have no where to go and no one to talk to. I would really love to be able to talk to someone who might feel similarly.
Hi. I read your post and completely understand where you are coming from. My husband of 40 years decided one day he wants to live a single life and out of the marriage. Totally blindsided but need to survive. There are 2 groups that I joined that are helpful - the first is Divorce.com and the other is Circles. They are done virtually and meet once a week. Circles may meet more than once. I have placed myself in a 5 days a week, 8 hour a day group therapy program and I thank G-d that I did that. They are helping me build myself up to be strong enough to move on. I don't know where you live but one of the PHP (Partial Hospitalization Programs) is under the auspices of Shady Grove Adventist Behavioral Program in Rockville and the other (PHP or IOP Program) is run by Medstar Harbor Hospital in Baltimore. I would not be here now if I had not signed on for these 2 programs. They saved my life and I am forever grateful. What you need anow is a good support system and these group therapy sessions are just what you need. I hope you can get enrolled in one of these because it will help to get you through. I am still reeling of his decision to "be single" but I'm not crying as much as I did before. Good Luck.