Re: How did you know divorce was the right choice and making the first steps ?
Hi hun. The house might be considered a joint asset that you can claim part of? This would help to provide you with some money to set up your new home?
Are you on a visa? What are the terms? Do you need to return to your country of origin if you divorce him, or can you stay?
They sound like right-wing loonies! I feel bad for you that religion is involved too. A ‘closed circle’ of small-minded people all egging each other on to promulgate their extreme views-not healthy.
It sounds as if you absolutely need to get away from these people. Is their a cultural support group you could seek refuge with? Any free or low-cost legal services in your local area? Can you just leave if you can’t afford to divorce him? Do you have a car? Can you pack your belongings and drive to a different state and look for a job there?
I doubt very much that he’ll give you an uncontested divorce. He’s more likely to be ‘egged on’ by his mother to make you ‘suffer’ for leaving him. If I were in your shoes, I’d wait until he’d gone out, then cram my car with sleeping equipment, cooking equipment, all my official ID documents, any prescribed medications I needed, clothing, coats, water and some food (and gas in the tank) and I’d drive off, never to look back. I’d open a PO Box in a new town, get a job, then file for divorce and try to claim some of the value of ‘his’ house and his 401k/savings.
Start saving to leave (unless you have sufficient money already). Discreetly sell anything you’re not going to need: Excess clothing, any unwanted jewellery, purses, shoes…whatever; to raise money to make you great escape 🌸
Re: How did you know divorce was the right choice and making the first steps ?
Hi Brenda,
Thank you for your response. I have been carefully saving and waiting for a time when I have enough to rent my own apartment. Honestly, it’s gotten to the point where I really don’t want anything of his, the house is his, nothing is mine. I am going to try and fight for the car though. The title is in his name, but I’ve made the payments and funded repairs. Mentally I just feel like I can’t take his attitude anymore. I have a counselling session next week. I’m hoping that will help me get my thoughts in order and give me confidence to say I want to leave. I’m worried he won’t give me a uncontested divorce as well. I’m hoping that by telling him it will be cheaper that way and because we don’t have assest to split, he will agree. If not, I honestly feel like I will just have to meet someone else as an excuse to get away.