I do not know why I am still staying with my husband of 33 years is so hard for me just Walk Away on this long marriage
Why am I still staying with this controlling husband that does not value my opinions all the time he wants me to do what he thinks is right for him and I want to follow the rules of an particular law
Every time I disagree we ended up arguing
And nothing can be solved
He always want me to agree no matter how wrong he is
Most of my life I feel I am walking on eggshells
I am 59 yrs old and I am afraid that I am too old to start a life on my own even though I am financially capable
I do not know what to do???
I feel happy when we do not argue but I Feel sad when we disagree with each other when various topics arise
He always want to have the last word
He can be an unpredictable person
One minute he is a sweetheart and suddenly he will get angry for irrelevant things
I do love him but I am not that happy
I asked him that we should go to counseling together he is not even considering for us going to marriage therapy he thinks is waste of money
I will just be quiet 🤐 to avoid arguments
Is Love ❤️ enough to continue in this long marriage
I feel your pain. You describe your husband’s behaviour in a manner that is all to familiar to me as my own marriage is similar… have you looked up narcissistic personality disorder? If your husband has these traits it may be difficult for him to empathise with you and he may not see any need to change his ways. So it’s up to you how you live your life. If you keep going as you have nothing will improve you will need to continue to bite your tongue to keep the peace, at what cost to yourself though?
My suggestion if leaving is impossible or overwhelming for you right now (as it is for me - I have young children whom I can’t leave) then try claiming a bit more space for yourself in the relationship. This could be a stepping stone to building your self esteem up to consider leaving at a later stage. Options are moving into another bedroom, spending more time in another room or out of the house and reducing interactions, avoiding conversations or even eye contact. If he does start with the verbal outbursts dissociate - check out/stop listening or even walk off if safe to do so. Keep telling yourself that that is his opinion or his bad mood it doesn’t have to be yours. Meanwhile you could also look into some practical ways to start to separate your affairs from his. After 33 years together leaving will be a process so be patient and kind to yourself… baby steps to a happier life and freedom. All the best