I don’t think it’s a good time to refinance the home-you would be incurring a debt against it that he has not consented to. It sounds more like it will need to be sold ‘as-is.’ You may have to sell it and you move out and purchase or rent a different home for yourself and any children you have. Any repairs that you instruct to get done, would only delay a sale of the property while they were carried out -something that he and his lawyer may not agree to. You’d probably have to move out anyway if significant repairs like foundation repairs and mould removal took place as it wouldn’t necessarily be safe to stay in (may not be allowed either).

Move on hun. Sell, release the holding pattern you’re in over the property, and start your new life afresh.