If you are thinking of staying with him, then I would suggest that you go to a counselor on your own. Your fights sound alot like what I had with my ex-husband. When I worked with our counselor on my own, we talked about how I could change my responses to him and change my choices to change the dynamic of the situation. It help me alot! I learned how to not engage him, how to walk away when needed, how to not validate his irrational "fighting".
Hi Kelly
Thank you for suggestions
I am happy for you that counseling helped you
But if I keep walking away from an argument that we are having how this marriage will survive though ...
He is the one that starts the arguments and I am tired of hearing the same argument of the same things over and over again
I do not know what to do ?
The point of walking away is to not engage with him and reinforce his irrational behavior. With my ex- the fights weren't about anything; the fight was the fight if that makes sense. Nothing constructive came out of the fight, he wasn't really trying to resolve a conflict. He was just yelling and venting at me. Walking away communicates that you aren't going to engage in that type of interaction.
If he really want to talk and discuss a problem, that's fine, but you don't have to stand there and be his verbal punching bag.