My husband is a good man, good daddy, but I am the bread winner and I believe he feels he needs to control or cortisone my every whim due to lack of confidence maybe in the financial arena? From how to clean properly, to cook to parent out child so instead of fighting back anymore I just don’t do it or just say ok and ignore. He Hoover’s over me at the house over every detail, but work he leaves me alone and lets me do my thing cause that pays the bills. But he hates my family deep down and they hate him and I’m very close with them. But he wants me to be healthy and happy and successful but only if it’s what he believes is right , don’t take mental medication but smoking a weed is ok cause it’s natural just only his beliefs. But we have a good house and incredible 3 years old and don’t fight but I’m miserable , I don’t know if it’s just in me or it’s him causing me to second guess every way I was brought up? And do I change and go through everything cause of annoyances of and we barely have sex anytime we do inintiate it and it is always how he wants it to be… just confused but we do have or used to have great conversation and plan he plans fun events all the time … that I pay for … but I knew that when I entered the marriage….my child is most important and I don’t know where he would go but I only have one life right ? But again what if I’m miserable and harder alone.

Oh and I did try to leave once but I was off my meds per his recommendation and I went crazy basically , scared and overwhelmed about going through Witt everything and super confused and lonely

Victoria,

My situation is similar to yours in that I was the breadwinner. My ex also had a job, but there was a huge disparity in our pay. As far as housework, I did it all. He maintained our vehicles and would run errands when I asked but for the most part I maintained our household from cooking to cleaning, assisting with children’s homework, paying the bills, planning and paying for vacations for our family. I was lonely and unhappy for 3 years and feared what would happen if we divorced. We are now divorced and the struggle is with coparenting. I not in a relationship right now to focus on building myself back up and finding who I am again. I lost myself trying to make him happy and forgot about myself. It was a hard decision, but I don’t think i would have stayed, even knowing what I know now. It is a hard decision no matter which route you take.

L