I am going through the same thing. My husband and I have been married for 16 years, together 20, best friends for 22. He came to me a week and a half after our 16th wedding anniversary, out of the blue, and said he "had doubts" about our marriage. He paid (actually his daddy paid for) a lawyer 1 month later, didn't tell me he intended to file, the filed 1 month after that while I was on vacation with my friends. And still didn't tell me! I had to find out about it online, and even then, had I not been looking, I would not have known he filed until I was served at my work the day I got back from my vacation. He's such a **** coward. And a narcissist, as is his father. He's been so cruel, so deceitful, and lying about so much, even to his attorney! The worst part is we have an 11 year old son who is having a really hard time. I'm trying to process so much, especially right now with the holidays. I honestly just don't understand any of it. I've only ever loved him. I've never deceived him, lied to him, cheated on him, or anything of the sort. I can't help but wonder if he's having an affair. I'm feeling so lost, alone, and completely shattered. I never, ever thought he'd ever hurt me in any way. I thought he was a good man. Thought I was one of the lucky ones.
I think my husband is a narc… lots of emotional, verbal and angry outbursts. Always makes me feel like it’s my fault telling me that I triggered him. That I need to learn to walk away or watch how I talk to him. We have two little kids, one toddler and a newborn. I’m really thinking of divorcing him but I am so scared of what lies ahead if I do end up divorcing him. And knowing him, he’ll probably fight for full custody which will break my heart. Any advice?