I am so sorry to hear you feel this way. Feeling like you want a divorce is not easy emotionally on anyone (as I am finding out) sounds like you have given it a lot of time and now you have had enough. One thing everyone has suggested to me is individual counseling / therapy. You should definitely try to find someone in your area. I have started here recently and it has helped so far. I am not yet any further into my decision about whether I am for sure leaving the marriage or not, but it has helped me to collect my thoughts. Right now I am staying because of the same reasons you stated. I feel sorry for him and even though I know I could find someone else or be happy alone, I know he would be miserable and possibly never get over it (sounds vain, but it’s true, he has impossible standards for women and won’t settle for anything less) and I’m not sure he will be able to find someone else that checks all his boxes at the age of 45.
Hi Caroline
I started therapy couple of weeks ago , my therapist is telling me the reason I feel sorry for him because I have empathy but I need to let him go because he is only thinking about himself and if in the near future he needs any type of help there are plenty of caregivers that can take care of him .
I need to to think about my needs and what makes me happy
And I need to live in peace so I will not get depressed and miserable.
Even though my therapist is telling me to think about what she said in the end it will my decision to make but I feel sometimes that I rather be alone than being with him but my heart is telling me stay and my mind is telling me to get divorce so I can have a peaceful life without putting up with him anymore ....
What would you do in my place ? ☺️
Thank you for replying
I am not even interested of finding someone else at all if I decide to file for divorce ...I do not trust any man because he did cheat a long time ago and I gave him a chance (and he denied that nothing happened even though I had proof)
All I want is for him to be happy and find somebody else and I be happy living alone
He always want to be right and win an argument instead of admitting he is wrong (is all about control to him)
I completely understand and I am so glad you are seeking help with a therapist. It’s so helpful! I didn’t think it would be, but it certainly is helping me.
If I was you, I would go. Like your therapist said, there are plenty of caregivers to help him when he gets older. I understand you don’t want him to be on his own, I feel that way about my husband too, I’m the end though it is up to him to try and find someone new. Maybe once he knows you are not coming back he will be more motivated to do that. Men don’t like being on there own, it’s up to him to find someone
I am referring the way that Shelly replied
This message is for you Shelly How rude and have some respect
You do not know how we all feel in this forum until it happens to you
You will realize that we are all suffering and unhappy and still taking care of our husband until we all had enough
At least shows us some type of appreciation of what we all did
Hi Caroline
Thank you for you opinions and suggestions
But I am sure at his age at 64 yrs old with a heart problem and asthma it will be hard to find someone at that age and a health condition I just wish him well and best of luck
As much as it hurts me I cannot handle his personality anymore
Wish you well and be safe 🙏🤗
Let us all hope for the best
All he has is our 3 small dogs to keep him company if I decide to divorce him that he loves them so much probably more than me
I wish I could keep them but I won’t so they can be his companion
I will just adopt one when the times come
Take care