I am in the process of filing for divorce from my husband. He has been out of the home for almost a year, I had a temp restraining order in the beginning for 2 weeks. He is an alcoholic and addict. He completed a 30 day inpatient treatment a few months ago, he lived in a sober living home for about 2 months after and has now moved in with a friend of his who he has known for 20+ years and has a history of drinking. I caught him out at a restaurant drinking 45 days after his release from rehab. From his behavior, abusive emails and texts I do not believe he is following any sort of recovery program and I believe he is still drinking. We share 1 child and I have 2 older children from prior marriage. My STBX has lost several jobs prior to us separating, this last one I can prove was due to his drinking/addiction. He also OD'd just over a year ago at a friend's home (which he tried to hide from me). I am financially self-sufficient and can provide for myself and children without help. Also for the majority of our marriage (10 years) I have paid 99% of our bills etc. I have proof of him stealing money from my oldest son's account, I can also account for the fact that he spent all his income and often above and beyond what he was making on himself for alcohol and his addiction.

We are trying to navigate settling property and custody. He keeps asking for more financially, he now has a menial job not making much. And he wants joint custody of our minor child (we are going to mediation). For the past year I have not allowed him to have overnight visitation and he has not been allowed to drive our child. I found out he had put our child in the car after he had been drinking and I have not allowed him to drive him since. I know the chances of the courts giving him any more than what he has now is slim, but he is hell bent on fighting. I have offered to have custody remain as is for the next 12 months and we will revisit then and based on if he can prove he is adhering to a recovery plan and agrees to an alcohol monitoring system that we can slowly integrate more visitation. He refuses to provide any proof of recovery and says he won't agree to alcohol or drug testing/monitoring unless I agree to be tested and have my 18 year old son who lives in the house tested as well and wants me to pay for everything and if he agrees to an alcohol monitoring system I have to have one as well. I am not an alcoholic or addict. I will drink on occasion (maybe 1-2 drinks per month) and I do not drink or get drunk around my kids. Honestly I have no problem taking a drug or alcohol test, but I feel as if he is trying to deflect everything away from himself. I do have an issue with him asking to test my 18 year old because my STBX has emotionally tortured my kid and he has nothing to do with custody and not a party to the proceedings in any way. I don't think the court would entertain anything like this, but wanted to see if anyone else has dealt with anything similar??

I have agreed to a set amount of money paid directly to creditors or purchases and he keeps asking for more. Where do I draw the line and not look bad to the courts. My problem is that every penny I give him probably means he is using his own funds to support his habits and do not want to inadvertently enable this.

Sorry I know this is all over the place, please ask me if I need to clarify anything.