My husband and I have been marriage for 34 years and he decided to divorce me
Out of nowhere i just received the divorce papers
I am devastated
I have been calling , texting him but he is not answering my calls or texts
He just disappeared
He just left without any explanation what so ever 😡 😢

I don’t know what to do????
I am confused 😐 Sad , depressed
What can I look forward in my 60’s???? After a long marriage suddenly I am alone
Any idea 💡
🙏

:triumph:

Hi Mary,

I am 53 and going thru the same kind of feelings. I planned on spending the rest of my life with this man. We have been together 7, married 2. Now at 53, I am alone.

I can related so much when you said:
" I have been calling , texting him but he is not answering my calls or texts
He just disappeared"
My soon-to-be-X does the same thing. Goes out every night but if I ask him a question or talk to him, he is too busy to answer and never replies to text/emails/or calls.

I feel like he's died.

It's so hard. We still live in the same house, but are strangers now. I'm in the guest room (until the divorce is final and tenants out of my home) and he walks around like NOTHING is wrong. I cry at least 3 times a day...

I don't know what to do either. I keep telling myself "the only way out is through." I am trying to become more social again. That's the best antidote: Don't isolate!

My situation:
He is about to be 50. He stopped being intimate last Jan/Feb and I struggle with depression and an addiction and relapsed in March. He is saying that is why he wasn't intimate and left. He stopped being intimate almost 2 months before I relapsed - but he's telling everyone he is leaving because of me, not because he wants someone younger. :rage:

I knew he had lost interest; and my relapsing gave him the ammunition. After I relapsed he became verbally abusive and cut me out of his social life. I spiraled. He started a new job last Feb and kept saying he felt old; then he started dying his hair and becoming ruder every day. I saw the signs but was in denial.

I said I'd NEVER date anyone younger than me or marry - I did both at the same time...

When you say
"suddenly I am alone"
:triumph:
OMG I'm so ******* alone...

Again the antidote is to socialize. I think that is why they forget us so quickly. At least mine does. If he's out all the time (talking to young women - ****er) they don't have to process what they've done.

So we must also; but not to avoid our feelings. To find friends that will help us through them.

Don't Isolate!

Thank you Cintia for your suggestion
Now a days is so hard to find a friend to confine
I am so sorry what you have been going through Too
I wish you the best and best of luck

Right?! We need to remember that isolation is the enemy. I tend to put myself in a shell and not talk to anyone. Not sure if that is your MO.

I have been crying everyday when he goes out. I have PTSD from hearing his ******* car start:astonished: Seriously, it paralyzes me. I race motorcycles and love extreme sports; and the sound of his bloody car paralyzes me.

I am so sorry that you are also going thru this. My dad did the same thing to my mom. He ended up with newborns at 50 and 53. One day he told my mother if he could take it all back he would. I think many times they realize what's happened (I understand that from when I've been in active addiction). It's like waking up one day and realizing you've been walking in a fog. It devastates the spouse.

Mine keeps saying we can still be friends. I'm like WTF this isn't a HS breakup arsehole :triumph: Their thought process is not logical and they either wake up from the fog or they don't.

We signed papers yesterday. I hope she or they (I think he's shopping around) gets pregnant and leaves him with child support LOL. He denies seeing someone, but his food even coffee has changed...and the new underwear is always a give away :joy:

Seriously though, I told him you do this and I will never see or speak to you again. After I kick him in the balls, I intend to keep that promise.:upside_down_face:

Give yourself a little fictitious scenario like that, and it helps on the days it really hurts.. Hugs sister.

feel free to reach out, I know what you are feeling