Hi. My name is Marci and I am 62 years old currently going through a divorce.
I married my first husband at age 22. He had an affair and left me after 24 years of marriage. I was devastated to say the least. He didn’t even have to go looking for someone else. He already had someone and married her 4 months after the divorce was finalized. It took me almost 2 years to recover.
I met my second husband online and married him 10 years ago, ignoring all the red flags. I am now going through a divorce we both want. As soon as we got married, the controlling began and the fighting. Kids, money, his drinking… I am a headstrong woman who was not going to be controlled, so it didn’t work for all those reasons and he was unwilling to change or go to counseling with me or get help for his temper or drinking. He said I knew who he was when I married him, so refuses to change. (Good luck to his next woman, I say!)He was a controlling, bad tempered alcoholic who depended on me for his happiness to which I fell short. He was mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive and I just couldn’t take anymore. With probably only 20 more years to live, I knew I just needed peace in my life.
But, along with my decision, comes loneliness. I still work full time so am around people all day, but weekends loom empty before me. I know I need to fill them at some point but am still living with friends (I left as his temper was violent and I no longer felt safe being alone with him.)
I am moving into an apartment in a couple weeks and know I will then be able to focus on my future. With the divorce still in limbo, I feel stuck and currently am suffering depression and fatigue. God bless my friends for continuing to point out what I have to look forward to…trips to see my daughters and grandchildren (and not have to answer to HIM about it). Not sharing children since our kids were adults, was a bond we didn’t share and his kids all suffer addiction. His youngest son actually died 2 years ago of a drug overdose.
I am on this site to connect with others going through a divorce. I have experience obviously but grieving the loss this time, although different, is still a loss. I still get sad that marriage didn’t mean as much to him as it did to me and he he wouldn’t even try. 😢