I asked my doctor for anxiety medication. He gave me an antidepressant and an anxiety medication.
I love my husband but I'm not in love with him. Yet, I miss him. He was so sweet and kind but towards the end, he was unkind with his words to me. I think I pulled away. He had cheated on me with men earlier in our marriage and I forgave him. I was there for him when he went into the mental hospital on several occasions.
He is in his early 50s and I think he may be having a mid life crisis. I also think he may be struggling with his sexuality.
I just want to know the real reason as to why he left. I don't know if I'll ever get an answer from him about it. He says it's because I wasn't intimate with him (hand holding, cuddling, etc).
I think there is more to it.
I think I can handle it better if he was attracted to men. Of course, I don't know how I would react until it happens. If he was with another woman, I would be crushed.
I'm scared of being alone. He has been the only one. We were each other's firsts. He was my first for everything. I don't know how to be by myself. And I don't know how to handle this.
Just from your post it sounds like you might already have your answer. If he cheated several times with men, then perhaps that is your answer. He's trying to put it on you with excuses instead of being honest with you and himself about his sexual preferences.
Take care of yourself. It may take some time, but build a support system for yourself. Spend time with friends, family, church, find activities that you enjoy, volunteer, join a gym, do things just for you.
Find a therapist, that may help you sort through your feelings and clarity your choices.
It’s been hard for me also. But other way around I left in June. There are times I do miss him but my anger and resentment over take more of my emotions on a daily. It’s tough but I am learning each day is a healing process and I am in therapy also. I also turned to tarot cards and medium readings because I became desperate for wanting to know his next move in the divorce proceedings.