Hi. I read your post and completely understand where you are coming from. My husband of 40 years decided one day he wants to live a single life and out of the marriage. Totally blindsided but need to survive. There are 2 groups that I joined that are helpful - the first is Divorce.com and the other is Circles. They are done virtually and meet once a week. Circles may meet more than once. I have placed myself in a 5 days a week, 8 hour a day group therapy program and I thank G-d that I did that. They are helping me build myself up to be strong enough to move on. I don't know where you live but one of the PHP (Partial Hospitalization Programs) is under the auspices of Shady Grove Adventist Behavioral Program in Rockville and the other (PHP or IOP Program) is run by Medstar Harbor Hospital in Baltimore. I would not be here now if I had not signed on for these 2 programs. They saved my life and I am forever grateful. What you need anow is a good support system and these group therapy sessions are just what you need. I hope you can get enrolled in one of these because it will help to get you through. I am still reeling of his decision to "be single" but I'm not crying as much as I did before. Good Luck.