No it is not normal, acceptable nor okay for him to treat you this way. It is telling that your children are encouraging you to leave him.
When I divorced my controlling, verbally abusive husband, I was so happy. So, so happy to be able to live in peace in my own home! There was no better feeling.
Don't feel sorry for him, he doesn't feel sorry for you when he is verbally abusing you. He has made his bed, so to speak.
I don't know, but you can still love him and also choose a better situation for yourself.
You can choose a divorce and to not live with him anymore; and you could still see him and maintain a relationship with him. Just because you divorce him doesn't mean you'll never see him again. Alot of that would depend on him and the choices that he makes.
After I filed for divorce, my ex- finally went for the therapy that had been recommended to him repeatedly, he's on appropriate medication. He and I are able to have a positive relationship, spend time together with our children.