Please google the term 'trauma bond' to see if this may be what you're experiencing.
He's using you. Yes, it's comforting to keep some sense of 'relationship' and/or friendship with him...but at what emotional cost to yourself?
This man cheated on you for SIX years :( CHEATED while you were diligently working your ass off to raise your children mostly alone. That takes a heck of a lot of work, effort and selflessness; especially with 3 kids.
His behaviour was completely and utterly disrespectful towards you, but yet you're still running around after him -watching his house, taking care of him when he had surgery...why? He now has a wife whose responsibility it is to assume the role that you seem to be holding onto as a way of continuing some kind of relationship with him? He's getting the best of both worlds: 2 women running around after him.
Let him go hun. It's now time to move on. Don't accept being second best. He's moved on-his wife is expecting their child.
How will you move on though? What positive future can you plan for yourself, that doesn't involve being treated like a house sitter and personal aide who's at his beck and call?
It's 27 years ago now since you divorced: Almost 3 decades have passed. Have you found a new partner? If so, how must they feel about you running around after your ex? Or...if you haven't found another partner-could it be because you've desperately hung onto a hope that he may come back to you? Either way- It's not good for your mental health and well-being. Part of you knows already hun that what you're doing is not healthy for you. That's the reason you've posted here. Trust your gut instinct. Move on and move forward. You deserve no less than happiness 🌸 He'll survive and you can thrive 🙏