Womans Divorce Forum

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Newly divorced

Hello everyone, I am very new to this so I am open to any advice.

I am 30 years old and no kids and recently went through a divorce. What ended up happening was I moved somewhere for my husband and after being there for two and a half years I had a complete mental breakdown after everything as I was alone and isolated out there. I’ve never had any types of mental health issues until now. I started having panic attacks and so I told my ex to please book me a flight back home. Upon doing so I came home with severe anxiety, vertigo, depression. I needed all the moral support from my family at the time, so I had told him I’m unable to live where he is, I kept telling him this then he sent me divorce papers two months later. Mind you he never got on a plane to see me and talk this through, he wanted to pick me up from the airport and bring me back. Long story short we had a uncontested divorce and I recently found out he put the house for sale, which sent me to a whirlwind of emotions. I still love my husband but I fear him so much that I get crippling anxiety of the thought of talking to him because of the fear of rejection as well as what he did to me.

Re: Newly divorced

Hi Rachel,

This is my first time on this site
I truly resonated with your situation!! It’s like we had parallel happenings.

I too move away from family and friends to be with my soon to be ex-husband, only difference I had two small children in tow. I also had a mental breakdown. My life was spiraling, I was in a marriage and felt completely alone. We turned into roommates. I held on to hope thinking our marriage would and could change but when only one party is putting in the effort, stagnant is where you will remain. My life was redundant taken care of the kids while the mister was doing anything he wanted to do and coming home late. I had to muster up the courage to leave and understand I deserved better than what I was getting. I left and he followed. He successfully spun me back into his web planting seeds that this time was going to be different and that we could make things work. Fast forward 4 years later I finally put myself first and filed for divorce to set myself free from the painful life I was living. I was terrified of the pain I would put my children through going forward with the divorce but I couldn’t not continue to show my children a broken marriage and home. I’m watching him living a carefree life and acquiring new material things mean while I’m left putting my life back together. From hurt, pain, sorrow, despair, grief, unworthiness. When I tell you when I came back home everything I had was somehow taken or stripped away from me. I was left broken , vulnerable, questioning my life’s purpose and my next steps working my way out of fear with the thoughts of being alone. I am a work in progress. Each day I wake up with gratitude knowing I will make it though and my best has yet to come and what was removed (ie this divorce) was necessary for MY growth. I say all this to say to you, your trials and tribulations came to place you where you needed to be to remove you from where you did not belong. Continue to grow from your life lessons, may your health continue to improve and this next chapter of your life will be far greater than before.