My husband left me on New Years day 2022, he spent New Years Eve with his new girl who he started talking to in July 21 as just friends and it got serious in I believe September or so ( also not his first affair) We have 2 kids 6 & 15. He ended it with no real warning. He asked for a divorce right off the back. For 3 weeks I ask to think about it to just separate, go to therapy and nothing.
From what friends tell me he has been lying to them about me which luckily they don't believe.
He goes weeks without seeing the kids. He was texting my son regularly but not my daughter. I am paying for the divorce because honestly he can't budget and I had money in savings for a Disney trip we were supposed to take in November. I asked for one thing from him. No meeting her for 6 months and no overnight stays for a year he said fine and all he wanted in the divorce was his truck. Here we are 2.5 months later and he took them to go meet her without my prior knowledge. I am so upset and everyone in my family seems to think I am overreacting. The problem also is she has a little girl who is actually in her brother's care due to her and the her ex having CPS cases against them, that I can't get any information from and my lawyer can't find one. On top of that she has been married 3 times with the last one lasting 3 month (from the date of marriage to the date of signing the FDD) All my soon to be ex says is he wouldn't put the kids in harms way and it was all a misunderstanding. I'm trying to put up a brave front but how do I do that knowing this world is fun of stories of significant others hurting children and he barely knows this girl. He is not even leaving with her but yet they are getting married right after the divorce ( he wants me to sign the 30 day waiver) so he can move in with her and the new house they are renting now. She has a dad who is a Jehovah witness and he can't move in together until they are married. I don't know what I need help or advice with I guess I just wanted some opinions on my situation and if maybe I'm overreacting
Do not do anything just because he wants you to or because it will help him. You need to take care of yourself and your children.
Get our own attorney if you don't already have one. Do everything you need to do to protect your assets and your rights. Document everything.
Do not agree to anything or sign anything that does not come through your attorney.
Put your feelings aside, I know you are upset, but that isn't going to help you or your children. Take every action and step that you need to do to protect your kids and yourself.
Sadly, there is nothing you can do to control your soon to be ex-s behavior. You will need to work within the confines of the law and a good attorney, as well as work on your own triggers so that you can control them and be a good role model for your child.
Do you know how to interview attorneys? What questions to ask?
Depending on what state you live in, do you know if divorce mediation is a pre-req to trial? And, if so, do you know what to look for in a mediator?
These are just a few of the questions I can help you answer if you need outside support. And no, I am not a therapist but a certified divorce coach. I work exclusively with women going through divorce who still have children living at home.
Please feel free to respond to me by email if you're interested.
Best of luck to you and know that many have travelled this road successfully ahead of you. You're not alone.