While I cannot tell you what is best for you and your situation, I can say that I married someone who is controlling and mean to me (good to others, but was sometimes like this while dating). I convinced myself to overlook these things because he has many other good qualities. Fast forward 5 years and it has not changed, it has gotten worse especially since we had children and whenever he is going through a stressful time. We are now getting a divorce and he is just as mean and controlling in the divorce. And now we have to negotiate a house, kids and finances, where if we weren't married it would be easier to walk away. It sucks.
I guess my point is, people do not change and once married it usually gets worse. Perhaps you should wait to get married. If you really want to be together, it should not matter if you postponed things. I wish I had done that, I may have not gotten married.
Again, I don't know enough about your situation to tell you what is best, but you should listen and trust yourself.
I am not sure why you would even consider this. You are looking to tie yourself to someone, for LIFE, and you don't even like them?
I think you have your answer just by re-reading everything you wrote. Perhaps you should question what it is you love about him. And if its only because of company and a few things he does for you its not enough.
The decision to be married to someone means to have partnership. One where both add to each others lives but never interfere with or control it.
On that point, you really need to love and be ok with that person for all that they are exactly for what they are now, not what you hope they will be. It is a point of acceptance. If you don't think you have that, then this is not the match for you.
It does not seem like you have that with this person. Wish you the best of luck.
I am trying to escape a similar husband right now. Do not settle. Do not get married if he's a narcissist. Lack of empathy means he'll likely be a bad father too. Mine became physical and attacked ne last weekend now is trying to frame me for injuries he caused himself while I was on the phone with 911 in the other room. Some men are crazy. Pray about it, meditate on it, listen to your intuition. Best wishes
As others have said, please re-read your post. There are some strong 'red flags' that are concerning. Words and phrases such as 'controlling,' and 'lacks empathy.' Rude and unkind...
Please do not tether yourself to a man like this. If he's not 'wooing' you at this stage of your relationship, he's certainly not going to put the effort in once he's 'got you'/your married to him.
As another poster suggested, perhaps extend the engagement out by another year: Delay the marriage/push the date out (blame Covid safety concerns re: large gatherings?!) Put him on trial. Don't tell him though, as you want to observe his natural behaviours. Keep a diary of how he treats you. See if there is any improvement (or deterioration of his attitude and behaviours toward you). 2 years is not very long to have know him to get married. Your gut feeling and natural instinct are warning you that this doesn't feel right. Listen to the warning and heed it. As others have said; once children, mortgages etc are in the picture, this can add pressure to a marriage. You need to be certain that whomever you marry therefore s working in partnership with you-as an equal: Equal say in matters and decisions affecting the marriage/mutual respect/kindness and support. 'Controlling,' 'lacks empathy,' 'rude' and unkind...sound way, way off the mark of being an equal, mutually-respectful partnership...