you are not alone. i was married for years. did everything. cooking, cleaning, laundry dishes, kids, step kids, worked full time, school part time. drove all over. planned all holidays and birthdays. also did all the married stuff i was supposed to do plus more. went way out of my way. sacrificed so much. worked so hard. put all of myself into it. My husband, went to work and came home and went to bed. he says he loved me the best he could and that i created issues and just didn't accept his love the way he showed it to me. always make me feel like i was just crazy. but i finally made the decision to leave. packed my stuff. moved out. me and my kids. got my own place. paid him for the bills i left to him (paid half of everything). and you know his response was basically "oh well". never cried. never chased me. never did a dang thing. and i dont want to be with him. like at all! but i cry daily obsessing over the "why". Why didn't he love me after all i did for him, his kids, and his family. there's no answer. none. i dont know why. and i think that's why we feel so horrible. because there are just no answers.

I did all those things and more for 29 years. I tried everything. He is addicted to drugs, alcohol, and porn. He was not any of these things when we first married and promised me that if anything like this became a problem he would file papers and leave. I have been through so much. He would get better at times (or better at hiding it). He has gone full-blown addiction. Had a wreck (DUI) about three years ago and I was the only one he had to care for him. We were on the outs when he had the wreck. I finally could not take it anymore. Rented an apartment, moved out, and filed for divorce. It's the best thing I ever did. My only regret was that I did not do this earlier. You get so sucked in that you forget to take care of your own needs and then you feel cheated. He cheated and lied. I could not believe anything he said. I wanted closure which I will never get because he is not capable of giving that to me. I have to find a way to forgive, which I have not been able to do yet. I am grieving the life I thought I should have had. I am now in my late fifties and starting over. I have reconnected with old friends, and have started doing things I enjoy. Don't get me wrong sometimes I am alone when I don't want to be, but I am not lonely like I was in my marriage. I am so much happier now. I actually have a life. People I work with that didn't even know I had left my husband and filed for divorce have commented on how much more I seem to be at peace lately. This is how I know it was the best decision for me and I can never go back there. I pray and ask God to help me daily.