You're not alone! That's a typical & real response in all of this. Ex also left me carrying all debt, didn't take any responsibility for his part (even via court order). Made sure that all was unravelled before leaving (he left so many times the door was revolving!).
I think of God Is A God of Justice.
I'm not sure what you are dealing with as to expenses versus income but if you could get out from under your home & find a very small house or condo, then have what you need. Many hospitals & connected doctor's have financial assistance plans for those that qualify. Typically one has to ask about it, they don't offer the information. Electric & phone services also offer assistance for those falling in certain income brackets (usually you can read about that thru online search).
I pray a lot, that helps.
I don't hold grudge & I'm forgiving, but I would say that divorce has to be the most devastating thing I've ever been through & of course the ex I was ditched by didn't make it easier. I know statics talk about the effects of divorce, with the effects huge.
Another thought I hold to is that at least he cannot disconnect any more of what my life is & I can build. When he was around he would continue to take apart what was. I'd no more get things settled down in my (our) world then he would leave, or cause chaos that was unreal. For me, I turn it over to GOD.
It's a long road to recover. I just make sure that I don't hook up with someone (another man) that would jeopardize what I have. Friends are great... have some & rebuilding, get asked out at times, I keep things as friendship, do NOT want another disaster.
Yes, it's a nightmare! But God Is Good.
Hang in there & Merry Christmas!