I have alway taken care of the children. I spend all my time,money, and anything else for the children. He has always done very little but wants all of their love and attention as if it just a given. He talked nasty to everyone and often made the children feel insecure about themselves. I was thrown out of the house and not I have to pay rent(which I have not paid in 26 years) Now I have to find a decent place to live, take care of the children, get them to point A and B. I still have it all to do and I just learned that he has gone out of the country for Christmas. I have not been any place because we never had any money. Where did the money come from that he used to go out of the country! He complaints that he has to pay child support, he told our son during Thanksgiving that if our son came to visit him that he did not have money to feed him. That he was broke so where did he get the money to travel. I am ****** off and just don't know what to do. I was sitting and praying that everything is ok for him, that he be ok with everything. Not wishing him any harm and now this, I'm not going to wish anything on him, I'm just going to make it happen. He better watch out!!!!! I know I should be thankful having the love and care of our children but don't I deserve to have fun too? It's like he is over this and moved on!. I am once again hurt, and guess what, nothing will change, I will continue to hurt and feel sorry for myself, gain weight and feel sick. Lord what did I do wrong?????

I've had so many of the same feelings/experiences. Jerk has not left the country but seems to find money for whatever he WANTS to do-vacations, etc. Apparently paying child support isn't something he WANTS to do. I get so irritated that he'll take the kids and they all get to have fun, but I don't have money for all of "that". Then my oldest (11 and way too wise for his age) will say something that lets me know he gets it. He loves his father, but I am his security. He went to his dad's Christmas day. They left 12:30 back at 7:00. He called me 3 times just to tell me about this or that. He has a need to stay connected with me. He is thankful for the gifts I gave him, knowing I had to sacrifice to do it. I don't tell him these things, but he can figure it out. My kids don't know anything they don't need to know. They know we are watching our money as I'll tell them we can't afford this or that, but I also tell them we have enough for the things we need (which I wonder somedays) and they are involved in sports, etc. We don't eat out much, we plan for larger purchases, they take turns getting new shoes, etc. But they do have what they need. I've decided that in spite of it all, I really am the lucky ones. I have my kids, not just in physical custody, but I have their love and respect. I don't have to do cool stuff with/for them in order for them to want to be with me. That's something their father may never fully have.

Becky I feel the same way. I have to feed them and take from here to there and all dad is good for is going out to eat and playing games. My house is work and work and dad's is fun, but with all that my son prefers to be here. I love that fact. When dad calls my 7yr old actually asks "why are you calling" I love the fact that they decided to leave and think their lives are better now but their kids decide where they want to be, and apparently is not with them.

As we're sitting in the living room Christmas morning, just me and my boys-boys hadn't yet seen their dad- my oldest leans over and whispers, "This is the best Christmas I've ever had." Hmmm, first one without your dad around...

Hi i am very sorry to hear about your situation.Your ex is really one irresponsible and it's a shame he could afford to go abroad for Christmas and than left without money to even feed his son.
You are left alone but i am sure your kids will know to respect it when they get older.
It will pay off for your care and sacrifice.