I am in way over my head. I've filed for divorce myself and now I'm in deep water.
Here's What is happening:
1). Ex recently stopped making the house payment he promised to make
2). I'm broke
3). Ex stalked me, tried to force me to hang out with him by threatening the lives and safety of friends and family.
4). Had him arrested for criminal threats
I want my name off of the home loan as soon as possible and we have shared debt that I'm sure he will not pay as well. What do I do? Where do I go from here?
GET A LAWYER! I can't say that enough. A good lawyer will have a sit down with his lawyer and divide what is there. If he is the one that cause this them he can be held libable and told he has to pay. Until then try and find relatives to stay with or ask for support. The bottom line is to make sure that you stay one step ahead of him. Let your lawyer take care of the legal part and also try and contact the mortage company and let them know what is going on, maybe they will help. You're right to start thinking that he will fail to pay certain thing just to make sure you're not happy. Put down on paper what you need and talk to a lawyer and see if they do any pro bono work. Hope it works out!
Kennedy is right about going to an attorney. Then sit down and honestly make a budget you can live with. Be honest with yourself, but be fair about what you need vs. what you want. This will be a working document as you will make adjustments as you go. Then visit a credit counselor. The credit counselor can advise you on many things that will help you get a handle on your finances while things are settled legally. In my case the credit counselor handed me a page of names and numbers of bankruptcy attorneys. My divorce attorney seemed to agree. We had credit in my name and some joint credit. He also had stuff (a lot that I didn't even know about!) in just his name. The mortgage is in my name alone, but the deed is joint. (Can't explain how that one happened, but different story.) We also have a joint 2nd mortgage. THIS IS WHERE IT AFFECTS HIM. I am only days away from foreclosure. If my stbx doesn't cough up money for the mortgage and 2nd mortgages he screws himself. Since I'm filing for bankruptcy I have nothing to lose. If we don't sell outright and get a decent price for this place he will find himself owing on a 2nd mortgage with no house. The 2nd mortgage becomes a personal loan if the sale of the home doesn't cover it. When I file for bankruptcy this will clear me of financial obligations to either. (Although I can determine if I will include the home in my bankruptcy-again, different story). When I first began to investigate this option (bankruptcy) it made me absolutely sick to my stomach. I was literally sick. Over time I have come to terms with it and have been treated with nothing but respect by the attorney, credit counselor, and if you can believe it collectors. I am not an advocate of bankruptcy, but when my stbx quit supporting me in any way I simply was unable to pay on my debts. I either had to come to terms with the inevitable or was going to drive myself crazy. I have 2 children to support. I obviously can't rely on stbx even for child support, so I have to do what I have to do. Good luck to you...divorce sucks!
I would contact your creditors and explain your situation as well as contacting an attorney. Check with county offices and maybe even social services and see if they can refer attorneys who do pro bono work. Good luck with everything.
You're right: you do need help. You need to talk to a family law attorney immediately. An experienced attorney from your state will be able to give you advice that's in your best interest.
In the mean time, gather any bank statements, tax documents, or credit card / mortgage paperwork so that you're organized when you talk to an attorney. If your husband is being agressive or violent at all, please protect yourself. Keep a record of any inappropriate interactions you have so you're prepared to give the details.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Stay strong, and best of luck to you!
