When relationships break down our plans, dreams, lifestyles change. Originally we loved each other and may have even created a life or two. Deep down putting aside the past we love and care for each other still. The lawyers and the courts are there seemingly to help reach a settlement, but in reality make no mistake. They make money, all of them. Think about it if they removed that income source how would they replace it? The salaries of the government have to be paid? There's a few bear traps in life that are designed to take your money. Divorce is clearly one of them. I am not talking about child support. I am just talking about the encouragement you received from the lawyers and the easy in which the state makes the divorce happen. Go back and think about that man or women you were with and remember the love once shared. Its there still you both have just fallen for a well designed system to take from you your hard earned money. And without regard to the impact of children. I love my children but I did not have the skills to raise them I am lost. If I only had her help to raise them it would not be this way. Yes I am weak. Strong in business weak in sharing love. I wish I was someone better but all my life I am who I am. Going back to 1st grade still that same guy. I really needed the help of my wife and never dreamed she would do this. I am sorry ladies. I am so sorry. Please be nice we are only here for a short time. This is not what God wants. We will find out that so many of the things man has created are poorly designed. We should have been forced to help each other than to break apart. If he reaches out to you one day don't deny him step out of your self and seek professional help for the children's sake and work together at least as friends. Stupid thoughts from a broken man.

You know what?

I bent over backwards to help my ex, I did without while thinking he was suffering. I told him to stop paying child support and spend that money on rent while believing he was sleeping at work. Guess what? He was taxing back and forth to the family home with his girl friend. I never forced the sale of the house or business going against the advice of my solicitor. Guess what? It is all being lost because he will find more satisfaction in taking us both down than doing the decent thing. My solicitor didnt force me to do anything but from experience my 'consideration' towards my ex has left me and my child homesless. I wish I had listened and done what she said. I thought by playing fair because of all our years together would be the right way. Ive been screwed because I am decent and made the mistake of thinking he was too.

He also tells me he is broken but its funny, Ive seen pictures of him out dinning his girlfriend, doesnt look that broken to me.
I do everything for our child, I havent stopped contact but he was late picking him up from school because he was drunk and with the g/f. Then he emails me to say 'DO NOT MESS WITH ME AND MY SON', little does he know my son doesnt even want to see him but I am coaxing it because I know my son loves him he just doesnt like what he does. Im hoping my ex can pick himself up in order to save his relationship with his son. And if I stop contact (as I probably should have done) it will be me being spiteful!
I am the least conflictual person I know and for that I am paying. So is my son.

I too am broken, I am unable to party and unable to function very well. Because of a man who says he cant live without me and then does a hundred things to hurt me to the core. When I say I am broken I actually mean it. Theres the difference.

Maybe you are a genuine guy, but I think the majority of experiences on here differ. My personal experince is that whatever my ex tells me I have to figure out the lie.

And after everything he has done, I still love him but God knows I wish I didnt because he only abuses his position.

My STBX is also a broken man. Funny, isn't it, that this broken man refuses to just leave the other woman alone.

He goes around crying to everyone who will listen, but keeps things going with her. When I say "crying", that's exactly what I mean. Tears stream down his face.

So much for a broken man!

I don't doubt that there are men in this world that have been screwed by women. I am sure those men are going through much of what most of us on this forum are. I did everything possible to save my marriage-HE was bound and determined to make it fail. There was nothing more I could do. No, I no longer love him. It is not hidden deep inside somewhere. He has alienated me for years. If you treat someone like that for years, eventually the love will fade-or disappear.

I agree that the system is making plenty of money on us. I know my attorney has done well. I actually fired my first attorney. I also know that my attorney has done a good job of looking out for me. My spouse was only looking out for him. He hired an attorney and then suggested we make this mutual and use the same attorney. Hmmm, didn't sound like it would be good for me...now that we are about to the end I know that I would not have come out good with that.

HE has no intention of making things OK for me. HE is only interested in making himself OK and making himself look good where it comes to his children. It's not about being a good father-it's about LOOKING like a good father. Where it comes to his children I have never interferred. I have guarded my children from seeing so much. I no longer protect him, but I don't bash their father, either. I will, however, answer their questions honestly. I continually tell my children that bad choices doesn't make for a bad person. I urge my children to spend time with him when they don't want to. I sit and wait patiently when he is late to pick up the kids. I change my plans so as my children are made to feel wanted rather that thrown between homes when he changes his plans at the last minute. My life is my children. Anything else I want to do, need to do, takes a back seat. His visitation rights are just that, his RIGHTS. He wants to make sure he exercises those RIGHTS. And yet he can go for months without paying child support?

I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling. I understand it. I, too, have been broken. However, I refuse to let HIM take another day from me. I have picked myself up and I will be just fine.

Hang in there.

I loved and love my stbx however, he wanted out of the relationship. He wanted his freedom to come and go where ever, whenever and with whoever he wanted. He has totally cut me out of his life completely. It has been little over 5 months and I am so heartbroken. I would give anything to have him back but, I have to let that go and try and move forward with my life. I can't wait for the day for him to reach out to me because that day may never come. And I need to learn to let go of my sadness and be happy again.

My STBX turned into the scorned woman. He can't stop blaming for anything and everything that goes wrong in his life. Even though we longer are together and he did leave to be with another man's wife I am still the root of his problems. I decided a not to play his games any more. I do expect respect and of course he does not like that. I have always been his door mat and now that I ask for respect he has trouble with that.

My ex refused to take any blame for our failed marriage. He cheated, lied and took advantage of my love for him..he can go straight to hell. I wasted 11 years of my life trying to make our marriage work. If my ex were to call or come to my hone asking for another chance I would laugh him right out the door.
He chose the path his life is taking now.

I spend 20 plus yrs with this man. Women coming in and out every 3-4yrs until I decided enough was enough. Now that I am trying to stand up to him, he started calling me names and belittling me in front of the kids. I won't stand for that and it hurts him and throws the money card at me, since he is still supporting me. He does give me extra than what he is suppose to give me, but I did not ask him to, but I will not take his abuse any more. I am standing for myself and my kids from now own.