Deirdre I have just got to admire your self control, had that been my ex at school with his 'thing' all over him I would have been arrested for my actions.

I just want to point out to everyone, that I am an upstanding citizen (unlike my ex and his ow) I have never been in trouble with the police and I have never hit anyone (err actually I did hit my ex a few weeks ago when I was giving the drunk a lift and he grabbed my leg whilst I was driving and squeezed really really hard- yes I did turn round and wallop him- and yes it did stop him in his tracks). I am aware that of late I have been feeling like killing two people in particular. Just rest assured ladies I am not violent....yet!

I was friends with the OW. This was before my husband and I even separted. While she has never done or said anything negative to me or about me that I am aware of I am no longer friends with her. When I see her I am civil and we make small talk but that is it. I will not be friends with someone who came in and took my husband. While I know she did not actually take him he is the one who strayed, even if it was just emotionally, I cannot ever trust her so why be friends. I am civil but that is it. You do not owe it to her to be friends and as long as you do not bad mouth about her to kids or anything that should suffice.
Good Luck!

I don't bad-mouth her to my kids -- I don't have to. They know what she is, and digs her little trench ever deeper each time she opens her pie-hole.

A recent and particularly jerky example: she refused to go to the drugstore - 1/3 of a mile from the house - and get 'feminine hygiene' products for my daughter, whose Time of the Month had started 3 days early, and, as it often does in such situations, full blast. It seemed fairly obvious to me that this would have been a golden opportunity for her to get at least a little good feeling from one of my kids; but she flat out refused to go. She actually said for my daughter to call me (it was 11:00 at night and snowing - really? Smallll person...just cause she did not want to go 3 blocks to the all-night chemist, yah, roust Mom out of bed and make me come ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN, in a SNOWSTORM because she couldn't be arsed.)

Well, I did do it, because the bottom line was, my daughter had to have the stuff.

And I told my daughter not to even bother asking her father's NW for anything, because it was fairly obvious that she wasn't anxious to do anyone any favours.

Wow, what a bltch! Your poor daughter, how humiliating for her! Good she has a great mom like you who will go through a snow storm to take care of her! Seriously, that "woman" should be ashamed of herself, her behavior is disgusting. Ugh. Give your daughter a big hug from me (and one for you, too). Thank God for mom's like you!

Friends?? Define "friend". Someone with whom you have mutual feelings of caring and trust. When your friend is happy, so are you. When your friend hurts, so do you and you are there to lift her up. And she feels the same about you. You share the good times and the bad. Yea, I agree with the other posts...be civil. But FRIENDS??? Come on!!

Thanks Ladies for all your responds. I do not bad mouth her to my son, who is the only who goes to visit. To my 18 yr well that is another story. She HATES BIG FOOT!!! She feels Big Foot took her dad, and dad doesn't want to be part of her life because of Big Foot. I don't think I can even be civil. I am sure one day I will find them on the streets but I will not go and make a scandal. I know better than that, but I will not certainly go and say Hello either. I don't know how I would react but I know I have more sense than to go and talk to them. Thank you all for your responds. I have taken a little bit of everyone.

Ladyrb, I just have to tell you that the nicknames you've chosen for your ex and the ow are absolutely hilarious! They made me giggle. Best of luck to you with everything!!

Thanks Deirdre, I just thought calling the flea my ex would still entitle him to something of me. Instead the flea is something that is there and sometimes you just can't get rid of. Irritating you with that darn itch you know, just like an X. For her since she is almost 2 feet taller than the flea I thought well Big Foot was the appropriate name. Thanks