I am not very good at giving advice. I am going through a divorce right now and I used to cry a lot before we separated. However, don't they say that love is blind? I used to sob and curl into a ball on my bed and ask God what did I do wrong? Well, after a while I realized the situation I was in, and I stopped crying over him. I remember reading that you have to love yourself more than you love him. His actions are not appropriate, and you deserve better. One thing I know from dealing with my ex is that the other women don't last. Whatever the underlying problem really is will surface, and I am sure it is not about kids. You are very smart to take care of your education before having kids, too. Just know that you will be okay, and this might be the path to a better life. If this isn't what you want to hear, then know that there are people who divorce and take a break and realize that they really do love each other. Sometimes people just need time.
Thanks, I know the underlying issue is not children or lack thereof. I wish I could say exactly what it is but in all honesty it could be a number of things. I know in the long run this will better for me it just hurts. How could someone who supposedly loves me so much do this? I have plans for this summer to finally go to Europe, my graduation present to myself, and I am looking into trying to get back into publishing. I love teaching but I hate the politics that go with it. I think this is a time for me to really find me, which is not something I did because I met my husband at 18 and we moved in together two weeks later. I need to find what makes me happy but the unhappiness is always present.
Oh, your post seriously made tears come to my eyes!! I am SOOO glad that you are going to Europe!!! I used to travel a lot when I was young. Met stbx at 18, married at 19 (often joke I peaked at the ripe old age of 18!) I am so grateful for my children, my education, my job, but I have such remorse for what I left behind for HIM. If he was good and kind and loving, it would have been worth it. But all I got from him was a life of hell. I really don't mean to sound ungrateful, I do count my blessings, but I can never shake the 'what if' feeling if I had been able to carry on with my dream. I am approaching 40 this year and have decided to revive those dreams. Ok, maybe some will have to wait until my youngest is grown, maybe some I can do now and bring them with me. I think it will do you so much good, you will remember who you were BEFORE him, before he blew out your light. It's still there, you'll feel that joy again, that energy! I am sure you will get to the job you want as well, never stop believing, never give up. You are only 28, so young, so much ahead of you!! I just read about a 101 year old woman who still walks to work. She has worked all her life, been at her current job for 25 years. that puts her at around 75 when she started that job???!!! Wow!!! 40 seems so young now! People find true love in their 70's and 80's! Read these stories, then you will see how much life you have ahead of you! Congratulations of your up coming graduation, sending you a big hug! Keep going, you have a great future ahead of you!!