My situation, on the financial end, is similar. My stbx left me (I am still in the house) and he did pay support for the first 6 months. Nothing was in writing because things were running smoothly. At the end of September he informed me he would not give me another dime until everything was settled. October went by, November went by...No payments on mortgage or 2nd mortgage and no child support. (The 2nd mortgage is joint and taken automatically out of a joint account. So the Reserve Line on this acccount did kick in and pay the 2nd mortgage, but in turn the Reserve Line eventually topped out-which is also joint.) The mortgage is in my name alone because his credit wasn't good enough! I was unable to pay on my credit cards. These cards (3)are in my name alone. One of them I never used (he did) and another he had transferred a card of his own into my name on a 0%, blah blah blah. And yes, he seemed to be able to spend money for trips, etc. His attorney spent 2 months not answering phone calls, etc. So my attorney had me sign the appropriate paper work and set a court date to go in front of the judge. His attorney called REAL fast. Just a couple of days before the court date we sat down (Jerk, his attorney, my attorney and me) and he agreed to pay the Oct. and Nov. first and second mortgage and then we will split the mortgages until we sell, and child support starting in December. He was quite agreeable. He obviously did not want to go in front of a judge.

In your situation if you were to sell the house would that pay off both mortgages? If it would that might be a good route to go. Then you would get out of the 2nd mortgage. I know you want to live in the house, but it is just a house. In my situation I am allowed to stay in the home until it sells, with him paying his fair share of the mortgage.) Your child and the custody issues there are what is important. And there I don't have experience.

Yes, I was receiving tons of phone calls and my credit is shot. Know what? I decided to file for bankruptcy. It isn't something I wanted to do, it's not something I'm proud of, but there is a sense of relief that I will be able to pay rent and financially take care of my kids. Plus, I emotionally can't handle the stress of all the phone calls, etc. I've been physically sick for months. My line has become "What do I have to lose?" I have my kids and THAT is what is important. The rest is just stuff and if I can care for them it will be OK.

I apologize for getting so windy. I'd say get started on that paperwork. I'm guessing he will scramble to avoid going in front of the judge. It puts you in the driver's seat. Good luck. Keep us posted. Prayers and hugs.

Wow I hope it's getting better. I think your advice is sound about selling the house. I am trying to force him to pay up the back mortgage (he's been living in the house as I moved out due to the RO and my saftey and took our daughter with me. Living at my Mom's house in her spare room) Never thought i would have been here so long but he has refused to let me back in the house and pulled all kinds of stall tactics. You were smart to stay I think i was given bad advice. But I did what I had to do. Still no payment on it. Still no child or spousal support. He has gone out and bought a new car though. Getting infront of a judge about all of this at the end of the month, Thank God. I hope he looks like the ass he is.

My daughter saw her attorney my husband has gotten for her as he feels I am being too over protective and not agreeing to his demands so her she needs one. Yes I know rediculous but in today's world there are attorneys for kids so they can be heard for their own desires and needs. Hello Restraining Order signed by a Judge for DV. As unbelievable as it is, today I had to take my daughter into meet her very own Attorney (she is 4 years old) where she showed him she could jump on one foot, colored a rainbow with her Mom and Dad underneath with Mommy holding a sign saying "go away" terrific right! She obvously has caught on that their was a Restraining Order Against her Dad that has changed everything in her life. Her Dad and I have been fighting over parenting schedule times. He has her every other weekend and says he wants more time but can only do weekends due to his very busy schedule (which is strange as I was married to him for 8 years so he is fighting to get my Friday night of my weekend now. This is extremely upsetting as you can imagine as a Mother. I would never have my daughter EVER on a Friday for EVER. No 3 day weekends, no ability to leave after school to go to the beach or Mountains for the weekend. No Barb-ques on Friday's with other friends and neighbors with kids. I have been fighting this back and now he has just submitted paperwork to the court as a counter claim to the divorce stating after being seperated for 5 months that he wants sole custody of our daughter. He is in such a Narcassitic Rage that he can't have me controling 1 aspect of anything he must win at any cost and he is destroying me financially too as he promised he would. Bankruptsy is in my near future as well but I will also need to find a place to live with this ruined credit thing he has done.

Trying not to feel defeated. Somedays are better than others hu?

Did you get your house on the market? How's that going?