Yikes. We live in the country. My stbx moved in with his dad 2 miles away. So he's a neighbor, but I don't hAve to see him when I walk out my back door...and HE'S TOO CLOSE! In my situation it bothers me to see him drive past my place. The idea that he knows if I'm home, when I'm outside doing stuff, etc. really bothers me. The kids also have a roller coaster when he drives by but doesn't stop to see them (which I had to put a stop to or he was quite intrusive-just call ahead of time).

First, do you have an attorney helping you with the papers so you can proceed with the divorce? I know that as horrid is the legal process is that it can bring you some closure. I'm sure that seeing him with another woman is very difficult for you-and your children. One would think he could have enough respect to just see her more discretely. But chances are he's not much into worrying about what's best for anyone but himself. You were with this man for 25 years. That's a long time. We can know what we need to do, but our heart doesn't always follow. Have you been to a counselor. If that is an option for you it may help. I have a counselor. I have not seen her very many times, but she validated my emotions and provided me with some coping strategies, which has been very helpful. Best wishes.

Thanks for responding. Yes, I have an attorney. I filed in October and he has yet to respond. My attorney is in the process of filing default papers. I start counseling next week.
I know I must move on, it just hurts so bad to see him. I do not want him back, I just never thought he would be so disrespectful, some things you just don't do. As for the woman,I feel she is disrepectful as well, she knows me and my kids live next door.
I have never experienced anything like this in my life time.

Hugs.

I could list the things my ex did to me, but it is too surreal. I am quite sure my ex has been with many women since he left, he left me in huge debt (doesn't pay a thing on it), So Much. Me too, I never thought another human could be so cold & cruel in their actions. Especially when they say they love ..
ok really? I have to say my ex was NOT a friend.
Friends just don't do this to one another.
I know that he is very unstable & as many will say on here... if they do this to us, they will do it to hte next woman/women!
I personally don't know how ex can look in the mirror, but it's not my problem anymore.
I think once you can get removed from having to see him, then it will take MUCH of the pain out of it for you. Because you can separate him from you. THAT takes some time. I try to remind myself too, not to make sense out of non sense. Because he is making crazy choices does not reflect on you.

Take care.

I keep googling "anger management"! It gives me things to read, the reason why letting go is so important. It makes sense, i feel calmer reading it. then, the second I see him (he refuses to leave my house, lives in the basement) I just want to punch his face in! All the anger rises to the top. I have not had to deal with an OW (yet) I just pray I am far away from him soon. he can do what he wants not my problems anymore, but that doesn't mean i want to SEE him. It brings all those raw emotions to the surface. If you pass by either of them, don't really look at them, but have a smile on your face, one of those "I have a secret" kind of smiles (what's the joke saying? Smile, it makes people wonder what you've been up to...?) I do that. I'll be sad, crying in the bathroom. I'll pull myself together. If HE passes by, my cold attitude to him is there. Sometimes I am on this laptop and get a smile so he wonders what i am doing. Sometimes I feel I am going crazy, stuck here for now, but one day I'll get out. Remember you will get away too. It won't be forever. My problem is I have no patience so I want him gone NOW but that's not the way it is so I have to learn acceptance. It's hard, but try to accept this is just the way it is right now, things are going the way they are supposed to even if it doesn't feel that way. i guess it's all about faith.

strongspirit, it's almost like an out of body experience I think, to detach.
The good thing, is that I think God Has Shown me a lot in this. I have since learned this is not Christian site (thought it was as I found it on google search /Christian Women Divorce).. For me, I do see the big picture in this.
My ex has a lot of ego issues. He won't change on this earth! It's like digging deep into one's soul, to find that peace with God. I was strong in my faith before but on occassion feel like I'm grabbing this rock which I see as God & the waters raging by me.. with all the changes because of the EX.
Again, then I reframe it in my head/ victim>victorious. How could I understand what I do if things don't happen as they do (God's Will).
I guess it bothers me all he said to me ... now they amount to lies from his mouth that he didn't keep his word Z. But God Is All, so I go on.
I used to want hiding places when he was here & raging at me.. at least now I don't have to worry about that!
no fighting, moving forward...
Can only figure it's for purpose that I will not fully understand until Heaven.
Have you tried ear plugs/headphones?

You're right..this has been written, and i must get my faith up! IT SEEMS THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER IF HE WERE NOT RIGHT NEXT DOOR!!!!
I just ache sooooo bad sometimes, pray for me. Thanks.This to shall pass......

Thanks for responding. Yes, faith. Easier said than done. I know exactly how u feel. I am looking for a place to move,but it takes time and money. I just want it to happen NOW! I'll pray for u.