I keep googling "anger management"! It gives me things to read, the reason why letting go is so important. It makes sense, i feel calmer reading it. then, the second I see him (he refuses to leave my house, lives in the basement) I just want to punch his face in! All the anger rises to the top. I have not had to deal with an OW (yet) I just pray I am far away from him soon. he can do what he wants not my problems anymore, but that doesn't mean i want to SEE him. It brings all those raw emotions to the surface. If you pass by either of them, don't really look at them, but have a smile on your face, one of those "I have a secret" kind of smiles (what's the joke saying? Smile, it makes people wonder what you've been up to...?) I do that. I'll be sad, crying in the bathroom. I'll pull myself together. If HE passes by, my cold attitude to him is there. Sometimes I am on this laptop and get a smile so he wonders what i am doing. Sometimes I feel I am going crazy, stuck here for now, but one day I'll get out. Remember you will get away too. It won't be forever. My problem is I have no patience so I want him gone NOW but that's not the way it is so I have to learn acceptance. It's hard, but try to accept this is just the way it is right now, things are going the way they are supposed to even if it doesn't feel that way. i guess it's all about faith.
strongspirit, it's almost like an out of body experience I think, to detach.
The good thing, is that I think God Has Shown me a lot in this. I have since learned this is not Christian site (thought it was as I found it on google search /Christian Women Divorce).. For me, I do see the big picture in this.
My ex has a lot of ego issues. He won't change on this earth! It's like digging deep into one's soul, to find that peace with God. I was strong in my faith before but on occassion feel like I'm grabbing this rock which I see as God & the waters raging by me.. with all the changes because of the EX.
Again, then I reframe it in my head/ victim>victorious. How could I understand what I do if things don't happen as they do (God's Will).
I guess it bothers me all he said to me ... now they amount to lies from his mouth that he didn't keep his word Z. But God Is All, so I go on.
I used to want hiding places when he was here & raging at me.. at least now I don't have to worry about that!
no fighting, moving forward...
Can only figure it's for purpose that I will not fully understand until Heaven.
Have you tried ear plugs/headphones?
You're right..this has been written, and i must get my faith up! IT SEEMS THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER IF HE WERE NOT RIGHT NEXT DOOR!!!!
I just ache sooooo bad sometimes, pray for me. Thanks.This to shall pass......
Thanks for responding. Yes, faith. Easier said than done. I know exactly how u feel. I am looking for a place to move,but it takes time and money. I just want it to happen NOW! I'll pray for u.