Okay ladies another question, my daughter went on a shopping spree with her father today, apparently The Flea wants to be a father to her. It has happened before, he comes along and plays daddy dearest and then just drops her. I have told my daughter to take him for what he doesn't have, but to be careful. This man has done nothing but hurt her every step of the way. He comes into her life and buys her stuff, clothes, shoes, gives her money and when she least expects it, he just drops out of her life again. This time I have warned her to be careful and see him for what he is A FLEA, I know he has something up his sleeve. It is tax season and has told me that it would benefit him if he was to claim her. She is 18yrs. I told him, NO, that I was doing taxes on my own so she can actually get financial aid at school. Since he is a veteran, he said he was going to go see if he can her help through them, I have told my daughter again to be careful and to see him for what he is. Now my question is Is it okay for my daughter to just take him for the money but him at arm length when it comes to a relationship? I have taught my daughter to respect her father, to the point that what ever he does is not her business, but he has hurt her one too many times and I don't know what to do. I know she is 18yrs and she should make her own mind and see where things go, but I am really afraid of what he might say to her and sent her spiraling down again. I would really like any suggestion any of you might have. I do worry The Flea might just take advantage of her and then just drop out of her life again like he has done so many times.

At 18 she has probably started to see him for what he is all on her own. Weather he is using her for his own reasons or not I see nothing wrong with her getting financial assistance from him. It may be the only true fatherly thing he ever gives her. If it helps her get higher education that will benefit her the rest of her life give thanks that he did it.

I agree with still hurting, at 18 she will be able to make up her own mind, she knows there is a risk and hopefully will guard herself against it.
Why shouldnt he spend money on her, go for it while its available. No amount of spending he can do can make up for the way he has treated her but if it helps out then take the opportunity while you can.

Agreed, take the money while it's offered. He owes so much more than what money could ever cover.

Feelings are mutual. I watched my niece be s*** on by her father for so many years. Her mother NEVER said a bad word about him-but she had it pretty well figured out. She is 26 now, married and has 3 children. He (or perhaps his wife) decided he should have a relationship with is grandchildren. They were invited over for Thanksgiving. In short, things didn't go very well, it was a repeat of her whole life, and yes she felt bad. Each time she goes in a little more guarded. She knows who he is, what he is. She has told me, though, that she can always say that she was willing to try to have a relationship. She will never feel guilty about what has-or hasn't- been in their relationship. For her it is important to relieve herself of all blame, and by accepting even small offers she feels she is doing this. Don't know if this made any sense, but I guess I'm saying I think your daughter will find her own coping strategies. Be there for her when she needs you. Yes, let her take the money!