I completely agree with this statement. I have been seperated from my ex for almost 2 years. He still will not sign the divorce papers I have sent him over and over and over again. Yet I will not allow this man to take any more from me then he already has. In the last two years I have really learned alot about myself. I am strong, I am kind, I am loving and I am ready to love and be loved again. Sure I get angry at my ex, a lot some times, but my anger is for the things he is just now doing, I will not waste time on being angry about what he did to me. He gives me enough to be angry about with what he IS doing
Find something to smile about every day. Expecially on the bad days, even if it is just to check out your teeth in the mirror You'll feel better

No it doesn't matter if they are just friends and yes you have been betrayed. He's just self-serving. Doesn't matter if it's women, drugs, alcohol, whatever. The fact is he KNEW you wouldn't be happy if you knew, so instead of just NOT doing it, he still did and hid it. Childish. I know some of the things my stbx has done over the past 20 years (drugs/alcohol) but I am sure there are a million more things he has done and I just don't want to know. Once you leave, it doesn't matter anymore. I don't have to worry if mine is sleeping around while intoxicated and possibly bringing back diseases. He doesn't admit to ever cheating and I have never found any evidence (he's pretty ugly and smelly too, I kind of believe him)but it doesn't even matter if he straightened himself out and , umm, bathed, because I don't want him anymore. Not having to WORRY about it is a HUGE relief. I can live my life as I want and he can do whatever. I just need to get him OUT OF MY HOUSE permanently and all will be better. So I am sorry for your hurt, for the betrayal you feel, but proud of you for knowing this is wrong. You deserve to be happy. I feel it is never too late to leave. After 20 years of marriage...well, at least it's not 21 years. So how ever long you have been with him, at least it is not one year longer! I'd rather be free from him tomorrow and die the next day knowing that freedom than live to 120 and die married to him, still in pain, still feeling unloved, unappreciated, and totally disrespected. I still dream about him. Even last night I dreamt I was with him. It was so nice. But when I see him in real life, it's like a crazy monster takes over me! You see, my life has been like the dream. I have been in love with a fantasy. I can still go there in my sleep, but in my waking moments, I see him for what he is. He is the true monster. get mad, get free, then get happy! Good luck and God bless.

He definetely has betrayed you with an emotional affair, you have every right to be angry. I am going through the same thing with my husband who told me a few weeks before Christmas that he wants a divorce. I was totally blown away because I didn't know that anything was wrong. He goes on to tell me that it wasn't my fault and that he just feels we got married because of our son. He said he didn't love me and wasn't sure if he ever really did. You can imagine my devastation to find out that the only real person that I've ever truly loved has decided to walk out on me and our family. I never questioned his faithfulness before that but I started checking our phone bill and saw that he had begun calling and texting a girl about a week before he asked for a divorced. There were thousands of text messages between them through all hours of the day and hundreds of phone calls some lasting hours. I found out is a 24 year old college student from his home town who he claims as a "friend". He didn't understand why I was upset and said that he talks to her for "advice", lol. Not likely. He's been lying about where he goes and found out that there were other girls that he had been talking too also. Then he asks for his phone to be taken off my account because he didn't like me seeing who he was talking to and that I was spying on him. He maintains that he hasn't cheated and that she's a friend but how can I really believe him now. He has refused to even try to work anything out and says that the only way we'll ever have a relationship is after we get divorced. He says that if we can survive a divorce then we can survive anything, classic! What a bunch of bull! He just wants to keep me around for a booty call. He told me that I didn't "lust" after him enough and that's why he started talking to these girls because they showed him that they "wanted" him. I'm sorry that work, kids and life in general kept me from "lusting" after him but that's life. He always said that he never wanted his son to have divorced parents but that is exactly what he's doing. The good thing is that I have the support of both mine and his family. His family has been great with helping me deal with this and they are great about letting me know that they love me. I am just trying to take this day by day and although I am truly devastated by losing the love of my life, I know I have to go on for my children. I can only hope that one day I will find someone that loves me as much as I love them....one can only hope I guess. Hang in there ladies and it will eventually get easier..I hope, lol.