I AM ABOUT TO START DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS ON MY HUSBAND WHO FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS HAS GIVEN ME A MISERABLE EXISTENCE.HE HAS NO CONVERSATION, NO INTERESTS, FEW FRIENDS, DOES NOT WANT TO GO OUT AND INTERACT WITH PEOPLE, SITS IN THE DARK WITH THE DOG IN OUT CONSERVATORY, WE HAVE HAD NO PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP FOR THE LENGTH OF OUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE HE CANT AND WONT SEEK HELP. tHE MARRIAGE AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED HAS COME TO A NATURAL END. I HAVE A 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WHO LIVES WITH US AND FEELS THE EFFECTS OF THIS GROSSLY ABNORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.ALTHOUGH HE GOES OUT TO WORK AS DO I HE DOES NOTHING WITHIN THE FAMILY HOME, EVERYTHING IS LEFT TO ME, WASHING, IRONING, GARDENING, CLEANING, LOOKING AFTER MY DAUGHTER, CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYS ETC.HE HAS BECOME SO UNSOCIABLE AND APPART FROM SPEAKING TO PEOPLE HE IS WORKING FOR ( HE IS A SELF EMPLOYED ROOFER. I HAVE SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSIVE ILLNESS SINCE BEING IN THIS MARRIAGE FOR WHICH I HAD TO SEEK MEDICAL INTERVENTION - ANTI DEPRESSANTS. wHAT CONCERNS ME MOST OF ALL IS THAT THE HOUSE IS IN HIS NAME ONLY. i SOLD MY HOME AND INVESTED ALL THE MONEY INTO OUR MARITUAL HOME, WHICH WAS HIS ORIGINAL FAMILY HOME, HE WILL NEVER SELL IT. I AM CONCERNED BECAUSE OF THIS THAT ALL FGINANCIAL ASSETS WONT BE SPLIT 50/50 BECAUSE MY NAME IS NOT ON THE DEEDS. THE HOUSE WAS DOWN TO BARE BRICKS, NO ELECTRICS, FLOORS, DOORS WHEN WE GOT MARRIED AND IT WAS MY SALE OF HOUSE MONEY THAT RENEVATED IT. AFTER 6 YEARS OF MARRIAGE WHAT WOULD I EXPECT TO WALK AWAY WITH IN MONEY TERMS. HOUSE IS WORTH APPROX 300,000, I ALSO BOUGHT EVERY STICK OF FURNITURE IN THERE, INCLUDING BATHROOMS, TILES, MIRRORS, LIGHTING, DOORS, FLOORS,FABRICS....EVERYTHING, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GUIDE OR ADVISE ME...THANKS!

I UNDERSTAND YOUR SITUATION. THAT'S A TUFF ONE.
GET ALL YOUR PAPERS TOGETHER, RECEIPTS TOO. PUT THEM SOMEWHERE SAFE, MAYBE OUT OF THE HOUSE OR MAKE COPIES.
GET A LAWYER. CHECK THEM OUT FIRST. DON'T CALL JUST GO.

I certainly can relate to your post in regards to you stbx and how you have ben treated. Jerk was concerned about 1 thing-whatever was best for HIM. He worked a lot, always under the disguise of doing what he needed to do for his family. Really? So leaving was what you needed to do? If it was, then refusing to pay child support was what your family needed? He can make excuses for anything and everything he does. It is all my fault. We both worked-him all the time. I have a decent job, but not real high paying. With child support the kids and I will be OK. I took care of all housework, grocery shopping. He didn't eat with us so I cooked and sat down with the kids. He did his own laundry. Sometimes he would "help" by washing and drying other loads of laundry, then he'd throw them on the chair I liked to sit on, so whether I wanted to or not I would have to fold and put that load of laundry away. Yeah, that was helpful. In terms of what you are entitled to, as I understand it what was spent out of joint funds should be game for being split. Thus, I would think he would have to pay you for a percentage of the worth of the home. That said, get an attorney so you know for sure and have someone looking out for you and what is rightfully and fairly yours. Let us know what you find out. Good luck.

I really can't relate in my case it was different, he did everything he wanted and I was had no right to question anything. I was the only stuck in the home while he went out and had his fun. When I finally got tired of it, I told him to leave. Now he keeps telling our 18yr old if your mother would just have kept her mouth shut I would still be there. Him with a girlfriend and me on anti-depressives.

I guess my point is, is the money really worth all your troubles. I know we all need money. I was a stay at home mom, while we were together, I am still at home. He is still paying my bills and giving me the same amount of money. Until when I don't know. I know one day, soon I will have to start to work and pull my way.

Take care and look into what you need to do to protect yourself and your daughter, I hope everything turns out well for you.

You will not really know all of your answers until you contact an attorney in your area. Many states will look at what you have acquired together since the marriage. The financial investment that you made into the home to improve it and all other monies need to be remembered. A suggestion is to get a notebook, write down every step of the process that you as a couple did to refurbish the home and where the money came from. This will help with remembering. All receipts that you have will also help. It was his family home before the marriage but has been used and shared in the marriage. You will need to look into your state laws but this probably will remain his. The investing is what you will want to look at for yourself.

Your daughter needs an opportunity to express her fears and concerns but as a new to be single mom, at 15 she can learn to help you with the daily chores. This will help you and also help with her maturity.

Hope the best for you.