Your daughter probably has alot of mixed emotions now. At this stage in her own life even without the seperation, she is experiencing changes in her own life and trying to discover what they mean. When in this phase of life, she is more than likely fearful at what has been her stability (her family) is moving in many different directions. It is normal for her to feel angry and the need to talk to someone such as a counselor is probably a great decision. This will allow her to express both positive and negative feelings about you and her father in a nurturing environment. Remember that you are only responsible for your own actions and can not control your husband. It is great to talk about concerns of your daughter if he is willing, but ultimately, time will help and each parent is responsible for their bahavior and choices. Just be the best parent that you can be during this transitional time.

Hope this helps.

Audrey S
Creator of Divorce Tool Box
http://www.divorcetoolbox.com

Thank you both for your advice. You confirmed my decision to stay out of their relationship, while promoting a positive and open atmosphere in our home. My STBX and I had another mediation visit with our lawyer today. He spent the first 10 min relaying to me how my daughter has been acting in the last month, and basically, he would like me to encourage our daughter to have a relationship with him! He wants me to solve his problems, like I've been doing for the last 22 years! Later on he grumbled that he won't be paying for college if "she keeps this up". So it was decided that he would call my daughter's counselor and get his advice about how to reconcile their relationship. It's out of my hands - I guess!!!
Thanks!