Does anyone else wonder how their ex or STBX can live with themselves. I know I'm not a perfect person but I do think I have morals.

What I want to know is how he can blame me for EVERYTHING and take no responsibility for his own actions. Yes he couldn't understand where our money went and always felt there should be more for HIM to do want HE wanted. Yet he left paying the bills up to me, and then blamed me that there wasn't enough money for him to do what HE wanted. If HE wanted something I just said Yes if we could afford it but by giving him lots of little things there was no money for the BIG things he wanted. He almost had to force me to buy jeans if I needed them. I didn't spend much on ME, it was mostly for him or the kids. When he decided to step in and only give the household so much a month out of HIS paycheck (mine ALL went in) I had to keep moving money out of our savings to make sure we didn't get charged fees for overspending. I pointed out a $10 WANT of his once and said this was why we don't have $ for the big items and all I got was ^&*^%&^ for it. HE should be able to spend whatever he wants on HIMSELF since he makes brings in the most money.No regard for the fact that I worked harder at my job or that I worked 2 Saturdays a month while he frequently worked less hours and still got paid for it. Or the times he was unemployed.
The other BIG issue was sex of coarse. I was abused as a child and he blamed EVERYTHING on that. Didn't matter to him that he was adding to the problem by using me while I was asleep to fulfill HIS sexual needs till a counselor told him this was WRONG. He stopped doing it but I always felt like he resented the fact that he was no longer able to do this. He suffered from EDD the whole time we were married. He always thought if we had sex more often it would get rid of this. Sorry but I always felt that sex should be MUTUALLY desired. Was there something wrong with me that it took me AT LEAST a week to get horny? I tried to add some romance to our relationship where HE didn't.
Talked to him Years ago about MY needs in a relationship that I feel he just blew off.(take me out ever once in a while, give me a back/foot rub without me asking and not expecting sex in return.) I gave up asking for them since I knew what I had to give in return.
The Biggest thing is that he has gotten involved with a married women. He hasn't told the kids about it. At least one of them know I suspected it before the divorce but don't know what Has happened since. they don't know that he slept with her within DAYS of our divorce being final or that he thinks he is in LOVE with her. Personally I don't think he has a CLUE as to what REAL LOVE is. She talks about how she has to stay married to someone because she believes in the marriage vows. RIGHT this works if your having an affair? This is from a man that proclaims to be a Catholic. He doesn't even tell his mom the WHOLE trurth about his relationship with her and he ALWAYS tells his Mom everything he feels.

Guess I've spouted enough for now. Just had to get this off my chest.

Are we married to/divorcing the same man?

They are all the same....just different names.

Lisa
Just want to express my sympathy that you lived with someone like this also.

((HUGS)) Right back at ya. My ex thinks he is faultless. I left him for no reason and broke his heart. Poor baby now he has no one to clean his house, cook his meals, take care of his children, pay the bills, do the yard work oh yeah and be his "wh*re" There were times I wanted to ask him to leave money on the night stand. HE was so heart broken it only took him 2 weeks to get a bed warmer.
I am SOOOO much better off without him

The Flea was the same way. Why do you need this or that, but he would buy 100 dlls pair of shoes every other week. Then when I would ask to go out to dinner or something is why can't you cook,why can't you just be happy here, now his girlfriend won't cook or do anything for him or the house and I am still the poor excuse of a woman or the worse mother on earth. When his girlfriend does even have custody of her son. I don't know men think the grass is always greener somewhere until they look back and see what they really have. I know the flea is miserable at his new relationship but since he got caught with his pants down with the office wh@re he feels he needs to prove every one wrong. Poor pathetic men. I do believe we all deserve some one better and one day we will find what we really deserve.

Really, Jerk can't live with himself. He's taken up drinking, his back is always tight (bad, bad pain) from stress, he blames others for things he's done, he has to tell others what a good father he is, he doesn't sleep well (or wasn't when he finally moved out)...so I'd say he can't live with himself. Ironic, I can't live with him either!

Oh Becky.....that was sooooooo funny!