The divorce process is almost over for me. If he can come up with the money to buy me out of the house, it will be this month. If not, it will be whenever he gets it. He's been seriously working on it, but doesn't share with me how he's doing.

I know a few people who have remained very good friends with thier ex and I think that possibly this just might happen in our case. But I'm very cautious and wonder what you all think about that??? One part of me knows that there's really no point in it, but the other part would like it to be that way.

I seriously thought I could be friends with the flea until big foot started telling what he should and shouldn't do. That's when I knew that as long she was in the picture we would never have a friendly relationship or any kind of relationship. We can't even be cordial to each other to talk about our son. I wish you well. I hope things do work for you.

When our divorce started I had hopes that we could still be friends. Mostly for the sake of the kids. Unfortunately I could not continue to listen to him blame me for stuff I had not control over or that was due me in the divorce process. Now I don't hardly talk to him. I am MUCH happier this way.
I wish you luck. If you manage to pull it off good for you but if not then good for you also.

Friends? Not on your life. He lies to me, I don't trust him, and therefore there are no grounds for a friendship. If it works for you all the more power to you, but do proceed with caution. Then, when a third person is involved it can change everything, too. I lost him once, don't want to go through it again.

Wow, Becky, that was a real eye opener. I never thought about how hard it would be to lose him the second time. This whole divorce is because of another woman. As far as I know it has been several months since they last saw or talked to eachother. So if not her, maybe someone else could come into the picture. I can't let myself go through that again.

It is great if you two can remain cordial but being present in each other's life may keep wounds open. Being able to "let go" of the past is a healing process and if both of you have decided to divorce and not reconcile is this such a great option? It does not mean you can't be cordial but friends to what level, and why? An emotional door would remain open and is this what you want? These are questions that only you can answer.

Hope the best for you.

Audrey Silcox
Author of Divorce Tool Box
http://www.divorcetoolbox.com

No way I could be friends with my ex. I thought that by leaving him he could no longer hurt me over and over again. BUt boy was I wrong! He has hurt me even worse after I left him. The levels he is willing to stoop to is unbelievable! He is more of a monster than I could ever imagine. No way would I want to be his friend, it is hard enough to just keep my tongue in check when I see him, I only do that because of my boys.

I am with you Lisa. The flea seems to think I still owe him something, because he supported me all these yrs. but doesn't seem to see what I did for him. He has been the meanest, nastiest person I have ever met. I sometimes don't recognize him as the man I had spent half my life with. The funny thing is he is all nasty and mean only when big foot is around, when she is not he wants to be all nice and sweet. Like I said poor pathetic man.

Mine is never nice. His OW is a total b*tch! He just sits there and lets her do all the talking, reminds me of a puppet. He can't be nice he is to busy blaming me for hurting him. Heres a funny thing, he tells me how happy he is with OW yet he is still angry I left him and throws it in my face every chance he gets. If my BF talked about his ex all the time I would leave him in a heartbeat.

Boy everyday I see I am not alone. My the flea hasn't been with me for a yr. and I am still to blame for anything and everything that goes wrong in his "HAPPY, PERFECT LIFE" I threw him out because he was running around with big foot, at first he was the victim, telling every one how bad of a wife I was, and how good of a husband and father he was. Now that people saw that he is living with the office WH*RE he is telling everyone he left me. Funny things men do to get sympathy. I tell the flea every chance I get, that he is a pathetic little man. of course he gets all mad and storms out.

Do things get better?

It's a roller coaster, but things do get better. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but it would be much easier if I never had to deal with him again, which of course is impossible since we share kids.

They say you never truly know someone until you divorce them. AMEN!

I'm hoping it gets better....but doubtful. My SIL is just now finally able to talk to her ex with out a screaming match, it's been 6 years. I guess it just depends on your ex, and you.

I haven't spoken with WK in a month. Of course, now that there's bad news in the family I expect that to change -- but he won't call me unless the Beast is not around.

So, apparently...once a sneak, always a sneak. That p155es me off so bad -- because Beast hates me, he loses his testicular fortitude. It didn't use to be that way. She started a bunch of s*** with him last summer about just talking to me, and about the one time I "butt-texted" him. Seems that she is the one with the problem. But I digress!

I think men that were use to be the domineering person in our relationship are just looking for a woman that will treat them like they treated us. The flea is like that. We would go out and how dare we would walk in front of him. We need to follow him, but now it's he is a puppy dog after his master. How pathetic. He has gone from a great man to a little boy. At least that is how I like to see it.

When my husband moved all his stuff out of the house, he left me a letter on our bed. What I remember most about that letter is that he said "he hoped we could be friends one day and enjoy our children and all their accomplishments together"!! How do you be friends with a man that has accused you of forcing him to take his antidepressants, says he doesn't enjoy your company, says he only married you as an escape out of his crazy family, accuses you of having an STD, and so on and so on!!! I'm going to need a lot of psychological counseling to get to that point. I'm proud of myself if I can just remain calm while we both sit in our lawyer's office!