I think we are basically in the same place as you are. I was married for 21yrs, with the flea having affairs here and there. We are the ones that can actually decide what we really want in our lives. I decided to stop and throw him out. I made the decision knowing he was the soul provider in my house hold. I could not live that way any more. I do regret it sometimes but other I am happy, I have to kids. An 8yrs who the flea now wants to be his father, and a 19yr who he only talks to when the flea wants something.

The decision to file or not to is yours, you need to know if your worth what your life was like or if you want something better. I hope I make sense. I know for me there are days I do regret the divorce and want my old life back, but I think about all his running around behind my back, all the woman in his life, and how nasty and mean he has been since he left. I see myself happier without him, I know I will have a better life without and one day he will see his life was better when he was here too.

Take care and keep us posted. Think about what you need in your life not what he wants you to do. It is all about YOU..

thank you for all the feed back it is nice to talk to someone about this, i struggle everyday with this issue. the woman he is seeing has her family and friends following me every where i go the people who live to the left of me and right are her family and friends, i have found condom wrapers out in the back of our home.i have told the police about this and all that is expected but they have to actually do some thing to me in order for something to be done, sad right. after 25 yrs with this man i have just finished his immigration papers and i called the lawyer and they said i could not divorce him till after 2013. this man of 25 yrs continues to disrespect me on a daily basses, he throws in my face i will never catch him, i am so ready for a new life and to be happy and to just feel good for one day. i am searching for a job desperately, i just dont know what to do at this point,i do appreciate your words and again thank you