Ex has been unnaturally nice to me lately. Since his last "My Mother's taking you to court" talk. He realizes that he has no reason to take me back to court. First he doesn't have the time for the kids and if he takes me back to court for visitation, he may end up getting less than he has now. NO way I am backing down from the stipulations I have places. He is their father and he has the right to see them granted. As for his GF or his Mother, if they want to see my boys then he can take them to see them. End of story. Why he is being nice to me I don't know? I think his attorney advised him to play nice because A) I could take him to court and have his visitation lessened B) he thinks that by playing nice to me I will do what he wants.
I got a call from my attorney about the divorce. The divorce papers that my ex claims he never got. They want to know if I will sign off on the settlement my ex and I (according to HIS attorney) discussed on the phone last week. Okay so I told him I just wanted to have him out of my life and that I wanted him to just sign the f*cking papers and be done. He basically says the same thing but adds that I should sign the papers he sent me so that we can get the ball rolling.
I'm not asking much from him. Truly I could go for a lot more. I just want what is fair. Half the equity in the house. He could sell it or if he wants to keep it buy me out. My portion of his retirement. I figure the 11 years I spent taking care of his sorry a$$, I deserve it. That's it. I don't want anything else. No alimony
(which I could get) oh and I want the right to go back to my maiden name.
He claimed that I never sent him divorce papers but yet his attorney sent a "new slightly advised" divorce settlement, 6 months ago. The one where I get NOTHING! Now they want me to sign and be done. I will not. I don't know if he thinks that because I am so done with him that I will just sign and not look it over or what. I only have until May and I can take it in front of a judge. I course I Would rather not have the cost of a hearing but if that is what it takes to get what is rightfully mine I will.
I think his GF is pushing him for the divorce. I figure it this way I wait and take my chances or he caves and gives me what I want.
Sorry just ranting. No real question just that he ticks me off. It gets my panties in a bunch that he thinks I am an idiot.

I hear ya on the idiot thing. Really, I can't believe what Jerk tries to pull. I also can't believe what Jerk can't figure out. How could I possible have respected his opinion at one point in time? Now there's a question that will go unanswered to my grave with me.

I hold on th the fact that I was heavily medicated at the time we got married. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

You are too funny! But I SO understand! I always remind myself I was only 18 when I met him, 19 when I married. And I was a YOUNG 19, very very naive. I know for a fact that if I had then the personality that I have now, I wouldn't have even given him the time of day. So I excuse myself and forgive myself for giving him such a huge role in my life when he SO did NOT deserve it. Sigh. We live and we learn. But then again, if I didn't meet him, if I didn't live through this, I probably would have stayed very young and naive, blind to my own strength and ignorant of possibilities (and goes without saying, my children wouldn't be here, and I do believe they will be awesome adults and spread the message of hope and perseverance through their actions). No matter how angry or depressed I get, I actually am grateful for it. I feel I learned 100 lifetimes-worth of lessons in just one! (And, hopefully, I am not even halfway done yet!). I hope everyone can see this in their own unique (yet similar) situation, see how you have grown, and please God, take it easy on us for our remaining years!! We are still standing despite it all, still moving forward even though some idiot decided he had the right to dampen our spirits. Well, what does that say? We are all incredibly strong! Even on the days we cry, the days we rage, the days we despair...we are STILL HERE and we will keep going and peace will come. Success is the best revenge, right? Showing them we can do just fine without them thank you very much is empowering. It is SO important that we nurture our own souls. We've all been through a lot, better days are coming as long as we keep going.

Sure, we've got medicated and young/naive. I'm afraid I was just STUPID. If I had to do it all over again, I, too, would. I'd get my babies then run like he11.

Yeah, let him think you're an idiot, sometimes that's better! If he thinks you can see right through these things, he might work with his lawyer to make it more cryptic and that will be even more annoying when you can see how hard he tries to trick you. I am grateful that my stbx is not too bright, so figuring out what he is trying to do doesn't take much effort! I hope you can keep it out of court. You are being really kind, not going for more when you can get it! But I understand, if doing so would drag it out longer...yeah, no thanks, just GO. If GF really is pressuring him to hurry up the divorce, I would think it will be to your advantage. You are smart to stick with what you want. I know someone who went into huge debt because she just wanted it DONE. I hope you get your freedom soon!

Jerk is so anxious to be done. First he tried applying a lot of pressure, harassing me about it and bringing it up at very bad times, etc. I got in his face and calmly and quietly said, "Stop harassing me. This is something I will not tolerate. If you have a problem with it, talk to your lawyer." So he went from dumb to dumber and did some other really stupid things like quit paying child support thinking I'd sign anything to get money, quit paying his share of the mortgage thinking I'd panic at the thought of losing my home. It really backfired on him. I didn't react to either of the above items. Didn't bat an eye-never said a word. Then he got word from his attorney that there was a court date set to retrieve back child support and temporary support. He was FREAKED. He didn't think I'd stand up to him I guess (don't know how-I've never been a doormat). So the attorneys were then spending their time and energy-and our money-to work out the temporary issues rather work on the actual divorce. He did NOT want to face that judge. This process really cannot be hurried. Anything with the law, it seems, has its own sweet timeframe.